Archive for the ‘Girl-on-Girl’ Category

May/December Wednes­day One-lin­ers

Girl: Man, this old dyke is dig­ging on me, but I want some pe­nis
these days.

–3rd be­tween B & C

Guy: Man, old pussy is the best! She has 50 years of dick suck­ing ex­pe­ri­ence.

–124th & Man­hat­tan

Over­heard by: Ja­son Stein­hauer

Queer on cell: Ever since I lost my hair I’ve had 20 year olds chas­ing me around like I’m an ice cream cone.

–LIRR

Over­heard by: Squat­por­poise

Girl: Oh yeah, that guy you saw me with Sun­day? He lets me watch him have sex with boys.

–NYU School of so­cial work

Over­heard by: Mag­gie

She’s Ac­tu­al­ly a Shill for the Chee­tah Club

Chick: My hus­band and I like to go to tit­ty bars in the city. That’s why we get on so well — he likes girls and I like girls.… So, when you hang out with your bud­dies do you go to tit­ty bars?
Dude: Er, not re­al­ly — maybe once we went.

–Ra­dio City Fash­ion Rocks show

Over­heard by: Lis­ten­ing in the line

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Suck at Scrab­ble

Blonde: You know what I just learned? G‑E-O-R‑G is­n’t pro­nounced ‘George’ — it’s pro­nounced ‘gay-some­thing.’

–49th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: It’s too cold for stu­pid­i­ty

Fag hag to queer pal: It’s like, we’re like… cotil­lion-iz­ing!

–Co­lum­bia Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: jad­ed li­brary dweller

Ghet­to chick: Yo, he is datin’ Sh­eryl now. I told him, ‘Tell me when you kiss her.’ He was all, ‘Why?’ so I said, ‘So I know not to kiss her!’ I’m bilin­gual, yo.

–L train, 3rd Ave stop

Over­heard by: katiebeans

Loud woman: That is ‘con­niv­ing’ with a cap­i­tal ‘K’!

–St. Mark’s & 2nd Ave

An­gry wife to hus­band: You are so pa­tro­n­is­tic. I se­ri­ous­ly can’t stand how fuck­ing pa­tro­n­is­tic you are.

–56th & 5th

15-year-old girl to group of friends: I be takin’ AP Eng­lish this year, yo. I the on­ly one in that moth­er­fuck­er that don’t be lookin’ like they be de­liv­erin’ yo’ egg rolls when they ain’ts in school an’ shit.

–210th St & Bain­bridge Ave

Over­heard by: gut­ter­lush

An­gry woman to friend: I have a con­tention with the way peo­ple pro­nounce my daugh­ter’s name. I did not name my daugh­ter ‘La­dy Nasty’! I named my ba­by girl ‘La Dy­nasty.’

–JFK

Over­heard by: The RE­AL La­dy Nasty