Little girl: I’m going to throw up.
Mother: You can throw up when we get off the train.
Little girl: [pauses] I love you, mommy.
–N Train
Overheard by: Rachel
Archive for the ‘Girls’ Category
The Von Trapp Children Are Just Annoying in Real Life
Loud girl: She’s leaving the train!
Loud friends #1, #2, #3 and #4: Yay!
Loud friend #1: She’s leaving the train!
Loud friend #2: She is! Yay!
Girl getting off train: I love you guys! I’m leaving!
All: Bye!
(train leaves platform)
All: She’s off the train! Yeah, she got off the train!
(they all start singing very loudly)
–1 Train
Wednesday One-Liners: So Lifelike!
Girl: If I made a sex doll that smelled like elk, he would totally do it!
–Queens
Middle-aged Latino: I’ve got barbie dolls!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Newspaper vendor: Cause I have that multiple sneezing thing! I hate that crap! I’m like a bobble-head doll!
–96th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Galatea
Girl leaving nail salon: It looks like Malibu Barbie just threw up all over my feet.
–11th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Bill
Despondent little girl in coffee shop: Um, I don’t play with the doll house that much because you said we’re not supposed to play in the meditation room.
–Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn
Courage Is Being Scared and Doing What You Have to Do, Sweetie
Guy: So, can I just walk you halfway there and then leave so I don’t have to see your mom?
Girl: No.
Guy: Fuck.
–Grand Central Terminal
I Think I Saw This on an Episode of Sliders
Hip girl: What’s up with that airline?
Friend: What do you mean?
Hip girl: The flight attendants were all straight men.
–JFK
Overheard by: A random
He Was Merely Trying to Help Them Through the Fence
College girl: So you’re a real farmer! What do you have? Cows, pigs, sheep…?
Long-haired guy in overalls: No, no — had to get rid of the sheep. They were all liars.
–D train
Overheard by: Murray
Wednesday One-Liners Are One Baaaad Mother– Shut Yo’ Mouth!
Cute JAP talking about all the stuff she gets: I don’t need a man, I have my mom.
–Rare View Bar
Overheard by: white guy
Blonde girl to male friend: Listen, John. Fifteen minutes, your mom. Fifteen minutes, your mom.
–R Train
Annoying 40-something new mom: A good mom always has a diaper in her pocket!
–Barnes & Noble, 18th & 5th
Overheard by: I Am McLovey
Coworker: I got a bootleg mother.
–Midtown
Window-shopping tourist to wife: Look, honey! It’s the dress your mother wore when they buried her!
–Union Square
Overheard by: CJ
Guy: I go over to the house for Mother’s Day and she yells at me for not calling her for Mother’s Day like my brother did. So I go outside and call her from my cell and say “happy Mother’s Day!” and she yells at me for being an idiot.
–37th & 7th
Name The Punchline
Girl: I’m, like, the token one. I’m the only lesbo there!
–West 4th and 6th Ave
Overheard by: Jamie
The Secret Is to Keep the Volume Down
Girl: What do you think he would do if I pushed his cart over?
Hobo: Bitch, I don’t care if you’re a girl, I’ll beat your ass.
–Carroll St & 7th Ave, Brooklyn
Panda Bears Go Through This on a Daily Basis
Girl #1: I can’t go out with him. He’s fat.
Girl #2: So are you.
Girl #1: Really? Oh… yeah.
–Applebee’s, Times Square
Overheard by: eee!
