Girl #1: Overpriced, and totally not worth it.
Girl #2: But does it come with a vibrator?
–43rd St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Taylor
Archive for the ‘Girls’ Category
Lucky Bastards
Chick #1: Just like that, for no reason?
Chick #2: Yeah.
Chick #1: That’s so weird! Usually when a guy licks you, there’s some kind of context.
Chick #2: What about that time a hobo licked me? That wasn’t in context.
Chick #1: Yeah, but hobos don’t need context.
–23rd & Lex
Overheard by: Larry
Night Train, Thunderbird and Wednesday One-Liners
Crazy hobo with guitar to stranger: Damn… you invited a lot of people.
–1 Train
Hobo to young married couple: I have found the promised land. Seriously. I'd get a plane ticket right now, but it'd be cheaper to go to confession for a week and then get hit by a bus. Remind me to tell you about this later.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Oliver
Grimy hobo: Hey, do you guys have any change? Hey, do you guys have any change?
(20-something girl walks past him, with businessman a few steps behind) Hey, do you guys want to have sex? Uh, I mean…
–W 3rd & Thompson
Hobo, taking donations to help the homeless, counting coins: 25…50…60… (grabs fistful of coins sticks in pocket) Tax rebate!
–Union Square
Poetry in Motion
Girl: I love watching people on subways.
Guy: I know, right? I like making short poems 'bout them, too. (points discretely at JAP across subway car) “Slutty white girl looks around train. Adjusts boobs. Looks around again.”
–1 Train
Actually…
Girl on bus looking at a Six Flags sign: Why do they call it Six Flags?
Guy: Yo, bitch! Count the flags!
–Bus, Queens
Overheard by: Nicoletta
Tonight’s Movie: The Picture of Doreen Gray and Her Sister
Girl #1: So, do you and your twin sister look alike?
Girl #2: Well, if we’re standing next to each other we are, like, totally identical, but if you look at a picture of us, we look nothing alike… Do you want to take my picture?
Girl #1: Ummm…
Girl #2: Go ahead. You can take my picture.
–56th St, between 5th & 6th Ave
You Also Thought That About Abraham Lincoln
Dumb chick #1: What are those Jewish people with the curls called?
Dumb chick #2: I think they're called “aesthetic Jews.” Or “hestetic Jews.”
Dumb chick #1: Oh. I though they were Amish.
–Elevator, Midtown Building
Overheard by: I know what they're called
From Dr. Seuss' Unpublished The Whore by the Door
Boy: Is that a hat?
Girl: No, it's my dick. (pause) Wait, what? Is what a hat?
Boy: I thought that thing by the door was a hat.
Girl: A cat?
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
He's All, “Mommy! Mommy!”
Girl #1: You know that guy who always follows me around?
Girl #2: Yeah!
Girl #3: I wish I knew his name.
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: Could it be Mulva?
…So, How Much Do You Weigh?
Eccentric-looking older man: What are you?
20-something girl: Portuguese.
Eccentric-looking older man: Portuguese? They're good people. They mind their own business.
20-something girl: Yeah?
Eccentric-looking older man: Yeah, not like the Jews!
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Christina