LI girl #1: God, I am so horny!
LI girl #2: When we get to the concert, we’ll find some guys to fuck.
–2 train
Overheard by: Triborough
Archive for the ‘Girls’ Category
Sweetie, All Girls Your Age Are the Same Person
Girl #1: I have raisins living in my bag.
Girl #2: … We really are the same person.
–Bard High School Early College
Wednesday One-Liners Go for the Jugular
Slutty girl: Yeah, we were both drunk and he hit the wrong hole. I’ve been shitting blood for two days.
–Citi Field Stadium
Gay guy: I mean… She made my dick bleed.
–St. Mark’s
Overheard by: jax
Chick laughing hysterically on cell: I know! So much blood came out of his ears!
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Fresh Man
Black man on phone: This car was ripped in half, they had to cut this dude out with the jaws of life, he come out bleeding from his eye sockets and shit. (pause) So you wanna meet up later?
–Willoughby & Vanderbilt
But the Techno Remix Causes Cancer in Rats
Chick to guys loudly singing ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’ : That song can’t turn you gay!
–Village Halloween Parade
Overheard by: That eavesdropper over there
Those Were Beetle Eggs
Girl #1: Want to hear something horrible?
Girl #2: Sure, what?
Girl #1: This morning I went to get a Brazilian but the lady left some wax in my ass and it keeps chafing me…I’m in so much pain!
–South Street Seaport
Overheard by: Craig B.
People from Manhattan Are Loud for Good Reason
Little girl: Daddy, why did that car just honk?
Father: Because they were from Jersey. (pause) People from Jersey are loud for no apparent reason.
–38th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Rosey
Almost No One Pickles Children These Days
Mom: Honey, what’s the matter?
Girl: Am I going to turn green for being a bad girl too?
Mom: Honey, I was just kidding about that!
–Gershwin Theater
Overheard by: Rogue
Throw on Some Parliament and I’m Up for Anything!
Chick in stall: Would you ever eat cereal out of my mouth?
Friend in next stall: Well, if I had that background music… Yeah, sure.
–Bathroom, Joe’s Pub
Well, I Guess I Have Time for a Short One
Comedy promoter: Come on! Great show — you know you want to come!
Tourist girl: No, thanks, I’m good. C
Comedy promoter: Come on! We have midget strippers!
–Times Square
So You Judge Books by the Print on the Cover?
Guy: Yeah, that date movie was dumb.
Girl: Oh, you saw it?
Guy: No, but I could tell by the font it would be dumb. It was the same font as Scary Movie and Not Another Teen Movie. I really hated those movies.
Girl: Ahhh, impact.
Guy: What?
Girl: The font. It’s called “impact.”
–Staten Island Ferry
