Archive for the ‘Girls’ Category

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Go for the Jugu­lar

Slut­ty girl: Yeah, we were both drunk and he hit the wrong hole. I’ve been shit­ting blood for two days.

–Citi Field Sta­di­um

Gay guy: I mean… She made my dick bleed.

–St. Mark’s

Over­heard by: jax

Chick laugh­ing hys­ter­i­cal­ly on cell: I know! So much blood came out of his ears!

–Hunter Col­lege

Over­heard by: Fresh Man

Black man on phone: This car was ripped in half, they had to cut this dude out with the jaws of life, he come out bleed­ing from his eye sock­ets and shit. (pause) So you wan­na meet up lat­er?

–Willough­by & Van­der­bilt

Those Were Bee­tle Eggs

Girl #1: Want to hear some­thing hor­ri­ble?
Girl #2: Sure, what?
Girl #1: This morn­ing I went to get a Brazil­ian but the la­dy left some wax in my ass and it keeps chaf­ing me…I’m in so much pain!

–South Street Sea­port

Over­heard by: Craig B.