Guy: You bought your boyfriend swords?
Girl: We had just started going out.
–NY Comic Con, Javits Center
Overheard by: Kevin Frost
Archive for the ‘Girls’ Category
According to the Psychic Friends Network
Girl to random person next to her: I’m one of those shiny people.
–C Train
“No; I’m more well hung than he is.”
College Professor: Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Female Student: I have one sister and a twin brother.
College Professor: Are you identical?
–American Musical & Dramatic Academy, UWS
Um…Yes
(guy sits next to perfect stranger)
Guy: Are you dating someone?
Girl: No.
Guy: Can I have your number?
Girl: No.
Guy: Is it because I’m black?
Girl: Of course not.
Guy: Is it because you’re a lesbian?
–C Train
Come on In– The Wednesday One-Liner Is Fine!
20-something chick: Sea captains doing table-service is never okay.
–A Train
Overheard by: Ladle
Lady on Bluetooth: Well, if you prove to everyone that your vagina is as wide as an ocean, then go ahead!
–Brooklyn
Teenage girl to friend: So, I heard back from the lifeguard application. (pauses, then utterly bewildered) I need to know how to swim!
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: totheworld
Loud woman on escalator: No, you don’t get it. When you’re under water, you’re not wet.
–Queens Center Mall
Overheard by: Burning Vegan
Middle-aged man watching seven-year old swimming deftly in shallow end: Oh, yeah? Well, I can drive. Can you? My feet can touch the bottom. Can yours?
–CUNY Swim Class
Overheard by: obyun
Hoping to Recapture the Life She Had Before Me and You
Little girl: Where’s mommy?
Father: I told you, sweetie. Mommy’s getting her new tattoo.
–10 St & 6th Ave
Nothing to Compete With That
Girl #1: What did you do last night?
Girl #2: Wandered around Goldman Sachs with a Sesame Street pillow. You?
Girl #1: Um…
–Tom’s Diner, Morningside Heights
Overheard by: Ladle
…in Bed
Girl #1: You know Alex?
Girl #2: Yeah, he loves me, but not in a sexual way. He just thinks I’m awesome.
–Dorm Elevator, Columbia University
Overheard by: Chopin’s Edna
Wait– Aren’t You a Creative Writing Major?
Girl: And I had to buy my own scalpel, too.
Boy: Well, at least you’ll have one now.
Girl: Yeah.
Boy: You never know when you’ll need to skin a cat.
Girl: Or a person…
–Columbia University
Overheard by: why do i go to school here?
I Recommend Ritual Suicide
Girl #1: Why should you have him? I’ve been single for 20 months.
Girl #2: 20 months?! I’d be ashamed!
–34th & 7th
