Archive for the ‘Girls’ Category

Thank God the Wednesday One-Liners’ Strike Is Over

Chick on cell: We can’t let Blair and Tootie control our lives!

–LIRR

Overheard by: Poogins

Homeless crazy black guy to three scared white girls in their twenties: Time is crazy. Oh man, what time is "Desperate Housewives" on?!

–10th Street & 3rd Ave

Large latino: Yo, it was so good last night, I mean I can’t believe you missed it. It was the best episode I’ve seen yet, seriously bro… Well the main thing that happened was Heidi tried to apologize to LC and she was all like: "I wanna forget you!" I was like: "Whaaaaaat? For real?" It was crazy, you gotta catch it!

–Times Square Office Building

Overheard by: SUSAN

Redhead: The "Brady Bunch" world is a world without urges.

–Veniero’s, 11th St between 1st & 2nd

Overheard by: Ursula & Winifred

Muscular guy: He comes up to me talking all this shit, saying that he’ll bring it. Bring what? He’s not gangsta like I am, he ain’t thug like me. Skinny motherfucka looks like a damn burnt-out Screech.

–On the Bus

Fulsome girl with bad dye job: I’m like: "I watch ‘Law and Order: SVU’, I’m not getting in your van."

–15th between 6th and 7th

Overheard by: Disunionsquare

Aries Spears, in line for an Ashlee Simpson autograph: I’m the black guy from MADtv! [Grabs a random girl’s camera and snaps a picture of them together and walks away.]

–Virgin Mobile Mega Store, Times Square

Judge Us by the Hotdogs in Our Hands and the Beer Spouting From Our Hats

Chick leaving bar to friend: That's it, I have given up on New York men!
Guy in Yankees shirt: Hey! Don't judge us by guys from Queens.

–Bohemian Beer Garden, Astoria

Overheard by: Mike H

Headline by: Nicola

Runners-Up:
· “…but by Our Slick Taste in T-Shirts!” – Ijudgeyou
· “His Argument Would Carry More Weight If He Wasn’t Peeing Against a Brick Wall at the Time” – James
· “It’s Like Judging Americans by George Bush” – Allison
· “Just by Guys Who Hang Out in Queens” – From Brooklyn
· “Otherwise You’d All Be Lesbians” – Katie Darling
· “There Are Four More Boroughs Waiting to Disappoint You” – AngusM

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Think I Could Pass Off Bulimia As Repeated Exorcisms?

Black girl #1: You look great. You are like wasting away from your fast.
Black girl #2: Thanks! I asked my brother the other day if I continued fasting after Lent ends, would that be considered a diet or just anorexia?
Black girl #3: Oh my god! I always want to do that.
Black girl #2: He said anorexia, but I'm still thinking about it.

–Town Hall, 43rd St

Overheard by: jesus would be so proud