Tall girl: I think I'm part dog.
Short girl: That explains a lot.
–Kings Highway, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Margot
Archive for the ‘Girls’ Category
It’s Like Iraq: the Curds Get in the Whey
Girl: … And then she put it in front of me, and I was like, ‘Hello! I hate cottage cheese!’
Queer friend: Oh my god. Cottage cheese is albino diarrhea!
–90th & Broadway
Oh, Now I Remember
Girl #1: Yeah, I know what you mean about whoreish action. One of my friends gave this guy head in a stairwell, like, five minutes after she met him!
Girl #2: THAT WAS ME.
–Laguardia HS
Overheard by: Amanda Clarence Fox
But It’s a Slippery Slope to Eugenics
Teen girl #1: Whoa, are those apples really all in perfect rows?
Teen girl #2: Whole Foods has really out-yuppied itself this time.
–Whole Foods, Columbus Circle
One More Reason Girls Go to the Bathroom in Groups
Girl #1: (about friend in restroom) Oh my god! She is being such a bitch!
Girl #2: I know! I can't believe she said we were just as bad!
Girl #1: Yeah, I mean, at least we tell people to their faces!
Girl #2: Yeah. Oh, quiet! She's coming back.
–Beans Cafe, 57th St
Overheard by: Kiara
Wednesday One-Liners Wish They Could DVR Their Lives, Instead
Young woman on elevator to friend: I have a date this Thursday with a guy I met on match.com, and I was so excited, but then I remembered Thursday is Grey's Anatomy! I mean, I'm DVRing it, but that's so not the same.
–Wall St.
Overheard by: krazyhippie
Large 40-something woman: But I'm not gonna be on Maury sayin', "I'm 100% sure!" Because I'm not!
–10th St & FDR
20-something woman on cell: It's white, sleeveless…well, you don't watch Gossip Girl but it's totally Blair-worthy.
–W 19th & 5th Ave
Appalled girl to friend: So, I guess he just couldn't hold it in and needed to share with everyone around him, so he just shouted out "Fuck! I miss Gossip Girl!"
–Mercer & W 3rd
Saucy Latina: Telemundo makes BET look like The History Channel.
–171st St & Broadway
Overheard by: The Low Hat
Guy to friend: My girlfriend is cool if you and your boys are…she loves the BBC when she's high.
–PATH Station
Overheard by: smjcnj
30-something woman on cell: Remember season one of The Hills? What a simpler time.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: The Evil Triangle
Wednesday One-Liners Worry That Trucker Hats May Be Out
Hipster girl: I hate it when obviously uncool people wear flannel.
–E Train
Overheard by: dru
Hipster girl: Shark Week is a week? It lasted like a month last year.
–N 6th St, Williamsburg
Frumpy hipster: No! Hipsters melt in the rain!
–McCarren Park Pool, Greenpoint
Hipster on cell: No, I've never heard of a nocturnal squirrel… Do you even… Wait, are you trying to tell me you're gay?! No? Well, this is awkward…
–Central Park
Hipster guy to another: Have you ever played with yourself under a blacklight? There's like all kinds of shit on your dick!
–Union Hall
Overheard by: Cass
Frumpy mom, holding up item for hipster tween daughter: Catherine, is this ironic?
–Beacon's Closet, Williamsburg
Wednesday One-Liners Clean Everything Up Before Their Parents Get Back
Black woman in trashy outfit: And he said "But the party just started, bitch, I'll take you in a few hours!" and I was like, "Nigga please! My water just broke!"
–Lower East Side
Asian bimbo on cell: I just spoke to Percy and allegedly they threw a party after we were fired, to celebrate us getting fired…but we're people too.
–181 & St Nicholas
Overheard by: must not have liked you
Hipster girl: My all-time dream is to be shot by the cobra snake at a party, with a cig in my hand and Paul* between my thighs.
–NYU Dorm
Overheard by: Dayn
Tattooed guy on iPhone: Yeah, I'm bringing a 250-foot Slip 'N Slide!
–7th & 13th St
Overheard by: can I come to that party?
Loud man on cell: Yo, son! Why didn't you invite to your party? Damn…c'mon! Remember that time the chick in a wheelchair was working us in the cab? Yeah, she was in a wheelchair! Remember we got a cab for her and put her in the cab? That's right–that was me! She was giving us both head.
–BBQ Restroom, 8th Ave, Chelsea
20-something woman: Wait…when is it a rule to give the host a handjob?
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Jazz
The One Sentence Guide to Williamsburg
Indie girl: Defeatism is my Friendster.
–2nd Avenue
Overheard by: Sparkle Shortz
In the Sense That I Eat the Oatmeal
Teen girl #1, about nearby Shoot the Freak booth: So, what is it — some kind of set-up or something? Like, it’s not a real freak, right?
Teen girl #2: No, it’s a real guy. Want to go see?
Teen girl #1: No! I’m a Quaker!
–Coney Island