Archive for the ‘Global Geography’ Category

How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love Eugenics

Bimbo #1: I just want to move to another state, you know?
Bimbo #2: Yeah, like further south?
Bimbo #1: No, probably Australia.
Bimbo #2: Oh my God, me too! My cousin owns this train station, we could totally go!
Bimbo #1: Nah. I have a date tonight.

Headline by: johnny pissoff

Runners-Up:

· “All Aboard the Pangea Express” — Stitches

· “And Australia’s like, “WTF mate?”” — one L

· “Ashley crushes yet another of Jessica’s plans.” — Heidi

· “Besides, i dont speak german…” — senny

· “Crikey! Thank God the Stingrays Got Me Before They Arrived.” — Katie

· “Going Down, But Not Under” — sigh

· “It’s good to see Condy getting out more” — mp

· “Wait, You Have a Date? That Doesn’t Even Make Sense.” — 08kjl


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Do You Want to Hear About the Ass Sex, or Not?

Woman: I think she’s Russian. No wait, I think she is from Tennessee, yeah she’s like this poor girl from Tennessee. So anyways, she goes to the Hamptons… Wait now I remember, she is from Utah; she’s Mormon. That’s it. So she goes to the Hamptons and meets this guy…
Man: Wait a minute, what’s a Russian Mormon doing in the Hamptons?
Woman, annoyed: [groan]

–Whole Foods Columbus Circle

Wednesday One-Liners Are So Fucking Glad It’s Over

Conductor: This is Prince Street. Not Half-blood Prince Street, but Prince Street.

–N train

Overheard by: she later invited the passengers to debate whether snape was a criminal or a hero

30-year old fan: … And then he sprinkled magic dust over her throbbing vagina…

–Book release, Spring & Mercer

Overheard by: santos l. halper

Man to five-year-old son: Yeah, you know Harry Potter is now in this play in London where he plays a naked guy that has sex with horses? Comin’ to Broadway soon.

–Harry Potter Pl on Mercer St

Overheard by: i don’t THINK that’s how it goes actually…

Girl glancing at boy reading Deathly Hallows: Does Frodo die?

–Strings Attached Theater Company’s performance of Life As We Know It