Archive for the ‘Global Geography’ Category

Wheres­day One-Lin­ers

NYU guy to tourist friends: Well, here’s Grand Cen­tral!

–Broad­way & Wa­ver­ly

Guy on Side­kick to an­oth­er: I was­n’t sure if he was talk­ing about Buf­fa­lo or Bal­ti­more! I mean, I don’t even know where Buf­fa­lo is! Is it a state?

–1 Train

Over­heard by: amalthya

Ditzy girl sob­bing on cell: You don’t un­der­stand! They told me I was sup­posed to go to Penn Sta­tion but I just don’t know where that is!

–Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: queenof­s­cots

Guy on cell: I don’t get it–why go all the way to Ire­land if you’re not go­ing to go see Stone­henge?

–Cost­co, Brook­lyn

Girl­friend to boyfriend: Is this Times Square?

–85th & 1st

Over­heard by: Spe­cial K

We’re Sure There’s a “Brazil­ian Rain­for­est” Joke in Here Some­where

Stu­dent #1: She’s from the Do­mini­can Re­pub­lic, right?
Stu­dent #2: Um, yeah, I think so.
Stu­dent #1: Is she classy…?
Stu­dent #2: Eh, not re­al­ly, no. At the meet­ing the oth­er day, she was wear­ing a skirt. I could see her cooch.
Stu­dent #3: [Just join­ing the con­ver­sa­tion] What’s a cooch?
[Silence.]Student #1: Her vagi­na.
Stu­dent #2: Her for­est. Ex­cept it was bar­ren. There were no trees. Bar­ren.

–Co­lum­bia Uni­ver­si­ty

If You’re So Smart, Ex­plain the Wax

Buff dude #1: Hey, guy.
Smart guy: What’s up?
Buff dude #1: Can you set­tle some­thing? Is Por­tu­gal in Eu­rope or South Amer­i­ca?
Smart guy: Uh, it’s in Eu­rope.
Buff dude #1: See?
Buff dude #2: Okay, okay. But, like, the Por­tuguese they speak in South Amer­i­ca — that’s not the same lan­guage as they speak in South Amer­i­ca, right?
Smart guy: Ac­tu­al­ly, it is. Brazil was set­tled by the Por­tuguese, and the Span­ish got the rest of South Amer­i­ca, which is why they speak Span­ish in the oth­er coun­tries that aren’t Brazil.
Buff dude #2: Oooh! Look who passed his ge­og­ra­phy class!

–Ex­o­dus Gym, Union & Met­ro­pol­i­tan, Williams­burg