Archive for the ‘Global Geography’ Category

She’s in British Columbia Denial

Girl #1: My brother drives between Alaska and Colorado once a year. It’s a really long drive.
Girl #2: Wait… I thought Alaska wasn’t connected to America.
Guy: It’s connected to Canada.
Girl #2: So, there’s like, a bridge?
Guy: No. It’s connected to Canada.
Girl #2: No, it’s not! It’s an island. Canada breaks up over there.
Guy: I swear to god, it’s connected to Canada.
Girl #2: No!

–Coffee shop, Mercer & 3rd

This Has to Do With Degrassi High How?

Tourist guy: Why are all the signs in Chinese?
New York guy: Because we’re in Chinatown.
Tourist guy: But shouldn’t they have to advertise in English?
New York guy: New York isn’t Quebec.
Tourist guy: What?
New York guy: Dude, you don’t even know the difference between Chinese and Korean, you’ll never understand a reference to Quebecoise French.

–Bayard & Mott

Overheard by: iiams

Wednesday One-Liners Fail the Purity Test

Girl: I’m done with threesomes. Someone always gets hurt. It’s four-gies only from now on.

–Duane Reade, 32nd & Broadway

Overheard by: Jaina Wald

Man on cell: You got the what? The what? So you got the queen-sized bed!! You whore! You whore!

–Wall & Water

Overheard by: Aubrie

Man: Hey, anyone want to go to an orgy?

–Central Park

Loud teen boy: Dad, do we need condoms?

–Pharmacy, 82nd & Columbus

Girl on cell: Well it’s not even like anyone there had any real porn background!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Natalie

Guy on stoop: Dude! I did not give that girl VD.

–22nd & Broadway

Loud female suit: Well, at least he wasn’t sleeping with an intern!

–45th & Lex

Preppy girl on cell: Hey, girly, I got myself two tickets for us to go to the Dominican Republic for next week, and you know what that means: 7 days of Dominican cock. Yum!

–34th St

Overheard by: naidababy

This Just In: Jackson Daughter’s Move to Iran Has Unintended Consequences

Preppy girl: So, like, Salman Rushdie had to move to America because that guy issued this fatwa thing against him.
Hipster guy: You mean the Ayatollah?
Preppy girl: I think it’s pronounced “aya-toy-a.”
Hipster guy: Ummm…Yeah, if he were Spanish!

–Columbia University

Overheard by: not an Ivy-Leaguer