Archive for the ‘Google’ Category

And Now You Ex­pect Me to Walk??

Girl­friend, ex­it­ing cafe: I told you you should have googled this place be­fore we drove all the way here!
Boyfriend: I’m sor­ry. Let’s just go in­to the city! Bars are open un­til five there!
Girl­friend: You could­n’t en­ter­tain me in Brook­lyn for half an hour. What are you go­ing to do with me in the city un­til five?
Boyfriend: Walk up and down the city streets!

–Bed­ford Ave & 6th St

She Is So Go­ing To Re­gret Be­ing Named Scat Now

Twen­tysome­thing woman to friends: Yeah, I was think­ing I should re­al­ly google my­self too, so I can fi­nal­ly like…
Friend: See what you do?
Twen­tysome­thing woman: Yeah!

–122nd, be­tween Broad­way and Am­s­ter­dam

Over­heard by: amarg

Head­line by: Del

· “Deb­bie From Dal­las Will Be in For a Shock…” — Bare­Naked­La­dy
· “Google: Solv­ing Ex­is­ten­tial Crises Since 1998” — Ely Hen­ry
· “Put a Tow­el Down First” — Kevin P
· “Sta­cy Finds Out What All Those Lit­tle Blink­ing Red Lights in Her Boyfriend’s Bed­room Were All About.” — danielle
· “Van­i­ty, Thy Name Is Google!” — fester60613

Click here to see the new Head­line Con­test

Su­per­poke! Wednes­day Has Thrown a One-Lin­er at You!

Frus­trat­ed styl­ist on com­put­er: How do you spell “Google”?

–Dra­mat­ics Hair Sa­lon

Hot Asian woman: She has­n’t even post­ed her face on Face­book!

–88th & 2nd

Over­heard by: Sam H.

Teen to friend: My mom still has­n’t Face­booked me back about tak­ing care of my dog.

–Bed­ford Ave

Over­heard by: kayt

Soror­i­ty girl: Like…oh my god. We should write about our­selves on Juicy Cam­pus and see what oth­er peo­ple say.

–Class­room, NYU

Over­heard by: An­gela

Mid­dle-aged jan­i­tor: You’ve got to try that in­ter­net! It has every­thing!


Over­heard by: Cristi­na

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Wear Heels in Bed

Ob­nox­ious NYU stu­dent on phone: Hey, re­mem­ber that cute boy in my chem­istry class I was telling you about? Well, I to­tal­ly just saw him in a gay porno!

–Study Room, NYU Dorm

Over­heard by: NYU Ears

Pa­tient woman: She’s mak­ing friends with an old porn star, leave her alone!

–2nd Ave b/w 50th & 51st

Over­heard by: sab

Cranky suit to nod­ding friend: Ex­cept for porn and eBay, no one knows how to make mon­ey any­more!

–Madi­son Ave & 47th St

Over­heard by: kric­ka

Girl to friend: This would be a great place to shoot a porno.

–Down­stairs Bar, Mo­ri­mo­to Restau­rant

iPhone scream­er: Yeah, just take the ex­ec-u-ta­ble file and put it in the fold­er. Right the ex­ec-u-ta­ble file! I know, the mu­sic is fun­ny, like a porno, right?

–33rd St b/w 5th & 6th

Chick: You *know* we’re all go­ing to be googling “egg­beat­er porn” be­fore the night is over.

–Par­ty, 171st & Broad­way

Over­heard by: La­dle

She Has Six Months Left to Live­Jour­nal

Doc­tor guy: Okay, we have the chest x‑ray and it ex­plains what’s go­ing on. See this le­sion? It is pret­ty im­pres­sive.
Pa­tient la­dy: “Im­press­sive”? Is that a med­ical term? Am I gonna have to google that, too?

–Of­fice, 71st & Park

Over­heard by: Next ex­am room

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Click “It’s Com­pli­cat­ed”

Chick: It’s about your cy­ber per­son­al­i­ty, and if your cy­ber per­son­al­i­ty does­n’t want to be in a re­la­tion­ship with me on Face­book, that’s okay!

–NYU Hay­den Stair­case

Co­ed: I don’t know… if Sh­eryl* with the two kids by the two dif­fer­ent ba­by-dad­dies can have a good My­Space, I think pret­ty much any­one should be able to do it.

–Hunter Col­lege

Over­heard by: Im­mac­u­latePiz­za

Hip­ster girl: It looks like My­Space ex­plod­ed in there!

–The Knit­ting Fac­to­ry, 74 Leonard St

Over­heard by: Cassie

20-some­thing girl: So, the quad­ri­pleg­ic I hooked up with added me as a friend on Face­book last night.

–Chipo­tle, 51st & 8th

Geek prophet: No one is ever away from Google, re­al­ly.

–Near Hol­land Tun­nel

Over­heard by: Claire H.

An­gry chick, to boyfriend: Look, I’m not chang­ing my Face­book sta­tus!

–6th & Ave A

Over­heard by: Kremil­yse

30-ish woman: I said I would­n’t date him ’til he gets rid of the ty­pos on his My­Space pro­file… Am I a snob?

–Tom’s Din­er, Morn­ing­side Heights

Over­heard by: ball-and-vein­ing tool

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Want You to Know About the Size of Their Bank Ac­counts

Yup­pie on cell (try­ing to be dis­creet): Hey mom. Are you busy? Could you Google Maps me? I’m on Hous­ton and West Broad­way. Yeah, I did­n’t want to ask any­one for di­rec­tions and make a fool of my­self. Al­though I’m pret­ty sure I just did, be­cause half of this cof­fee shop is look­ing at me now.

–W Hous­ton

Over­heard by: Let’s face it, we were all new at one point.

40-some­thing yup­pie woman: And then I re­al­ized that my biggest prob­lem in life is that most of the time I’m in­cred­i­bly hap­py, but I’m not aware of how hap­py I am.

–81st & Madi­son

Yup­pie dad to sev­en-year-old daugh­ter: Now when you start buy­ing iPods, that’s when you’re go­ing to want to have a Visa card.

–Stan­ton & Christie

Over­heard by: Ross

Three-year-old yup­pie spawn: Noooooooooooo! I don’t want Pad Thai! I want sushi!

–Dice Thai, Prospect Park

Over­heard by: I’ll take sushi too but you’re payin’, kid