Archive for the ‘Gossip’ Category

And Willing to Share Her Meth

Guy: So, Rob slept with that trailer trash chick last night.
Girl: Holy shit! Which one?
Guy: The meth-head-looking one. You don’t think she looks like total trailer trash?
Girl: Oh my god, she had trailer trash oozing out of her fucking pores!
Guy: So why were you talking to her half the night?
Girl: Whatever. She was really nice.

–Terrace table, Blue Water Grill, Union Square

Overheard by: ebizzle

Well, That Was 20 Seconds of Reading Time We’ll Never Get Back

Hot chick on cell: Yeah, no… Like, I’m pretty convinced that Patrick* is, like, totally gay. Well, because when we, like, dated, he would always want to go shopping and take, like, the longest time, like always studying how tight jeans made his ass look. And, like, he told me how his best friend ended up being, like, uber-gay, and like, he would always say, like, random shit like, ‘Y’know, like, people you don’t even, like, know could be gay.’ I’d be like, ‘O-M-G — what?!’ And, like, the entire time we went out, we only had sex, like, once, and that was when I, like, lost my virginity… No, I didn’t consider it the official, like, time I actually lost my V-card because he couldn’t even, like, get it up… No, we were not drunk! I’m not like that big of a slut… Or at least, I wasn’t then.

–Chelsea

Superpoke! Wednesday Has Thrown a One-Liner at You!

Frustrated stylist on computer: How do you spell "Google"?

–Dramatics Hair Salon

Hot Asian woman: She hasn't even posted her face on Facebook!

–88th & 2nd

Overheard by: Sam H.

Teen to friend: My mom still hasn't Facebooked me back about taking care of my dog.

–Bedford Ave

Overheard by: kayt

Sorority girl: Like…oh my god. We should write about ourselves on Juicy Campus and see what other people say.

–Classroom, NYU

Overheard by: Angela

Middle-aged janitor: You've got to try that internet! It has everything!

–MoMA

Overheard by: Cristina

Making Exactly the Same Mistakes

Girl: Did you hear about Barbara Walters and the affairs she had when she was younger? It shocked me.
Guy: Why'd it shock you? A lot of these older people did a lot of crazy shit when they were younger, from violence to sex. How do you think at least 50% of us were born? And she looked kinda good then, I'd have done 'er.
Girl (shaking her head): Just about everybody is fucked up.
Guy (growling and laughing): Don't groan about it, it's nature baby. Us people today are just the latest ones on the scene.

–8th St & 6 Ave

Overheard by: savon

Wednesday One-Liners for Celebretards

Young black guy to another: You know, Obama is to politics what Richard Simmons is to exercise.

–PATH Train

Guy standing outside bar: And she was like, "What, like Gary Coleman?" and I'm like, "No, not like fucking Gary Coleman!"

–4th & 10th

Girl to boyfriend: Well, Tom Green only had one testicle. It's totally fine.

–E 11th St

Overheard by: j

Suit on cell: And I was like, "Fuck you, Ryan Cabrera"!

–Bedford & 6th St

Black girl on cell: I told you, we're like the Paris Hiltons of Liberia.

–Borders, Wall St

Overheard by: step

Guy (after taking picture with Jeremy Piven): Damn! I can't put this on MySpace. I'm wearing the same shirt I wore when I met Chazz Palminteri!

–Outside Barrymore Theatre

Overheard by: Pasta…Salad