Archive for the ‘Goths’ Category

Hey, Mind If I Take Your Wal­let?

Ema­ci­at­ed goth/punk guy: Hey, do you know where a CVS is?
Passer­by suit: I don’t know what that is…
Passer­by prep­py girl: Are you look­ing for a CVS?
Ema­ci­at­ed goth/punk guy: Yes!
Prep­py girl: Well, there’s a Du­ane Reade right there, it’s like, the same thing.
Ema­ci­at­ed goth/punk guy, mat­ter-of-fact­ly: I know, it’s just im­pos­si­ble to steal from Du­ane Reade.
Prep­py girl: Oh.
Ema­ci­at­ed goth/punk guy: I’m re­al­ly poor.
Prep­py girl: Okay.
Ema­ci­at­ed goth/punk guy, cheer­ful: Thanks any­way!
Prep­py girl, al­so cheer­ful: You’re wel­come!

–Colum­bus Cir­cle

Over­heard by: Han­nah

Are You Read­ing Off… an In­dex Card?

Dude: Hey, good to see you, what’s new?
Goth tran­ny: Oh, not much. In a new band, we’re look­ing for a bassist, we have a show on Sat­ur­day, my apart­ment sucks, Joe quit, been try­ing to lose weight, I need a hair­cut, it’s my birth­day next week, and I’ve been play­ing World of War­craft. What about you?

–Hal­loween Ad­ven­ture, 11th & 4th Ave

Over­heard by: Kate Melvin

“This One Time, at Wednes­day One-Lin­er Camp…”

An­gry man on cell: He was a porn star, not a pi­anist.

–Out­side Fair­way, 72nd St

Goth chick on cell: We’re in­side. Yeah, she’s play­ing “Creep” on a ukulele. No, I’m se­ri­ous!

–Spiegel­world

Art stu­dent: I did some acid and they made me play with a gui­tar, but it felt like plas­tic and it sound­ed like cheese!

–Pratt In­sti­tute

Tall drum­mer girl: This is why I love you guys. When the drum­line goes on break, they’re like, “let’s play some more!” When you guys go on break, you’re like, “let’s ex­plore each oth­ers’ bod­ies!”

–Path­mark

Over­heard by: An­oth­er band geek

30-some­thing African Amer­i­can woman: Mmm-hmm. He playin’ her ass like a vi­o­lin!

–Port Au­thor­i­ty Bus Ter­mi­nal

Over­heard by: KTiz­zle

What Not to Wednes­day One-Lin­er

Hip­ster girl: Look, just be­cause you’re preg­nant does­n’t mean you have to dress like a fifth grad­er.

–Union Pool, Brook­lyn

Vain fag, look­ing at pants: I re­al­ly love these shorts, I hope they’re *in* this sum­mer…

–LIRR

Guy wear­ing bright green leather clogs: No, I’d nev­er wear crocs. They’re ug­ly.

–For­est Hills Gar­dens, Queens

Over­heard by: Aloof Lon­er

Goth girl: Let’s buy fur coats and throw paint on our­selves.

–Bloom­ing­dale’s

Dis­em­bod­ied voice: Yo, these are mom jeans. I hate that shit! The waist goes all the way up to your stom­ach and then it makes a lit­tle V‑neck pouch for your vagi­na. I hate that shit!

–Fit­ting Rooms, Gap in Her­ald Square

Over­heard by: Zarya

[Wait­ing in line for the washroom.]Lady, bawl­ing her eyes out: Sor­ry, I or­dered this jack­et, and it’s two sizes too big!

–Ma­cy’s

Over­heard by: Tra­cy

And My Mom Al­ready Hates You

Hip­ster turned emo #1: So, I was think­ing that I should just dye my hair black, wear a lot of dark eye­lin­er, and talk about how much my mom hates me.
Hip­ster turned emo #2: I think that’s a great idea, but you al­so need to stop rep­re­sent­ing your­self as a hap­py in­di­vid­ual, and make sure that the black eye­lin­er has that smudgy look.
Goth fat kid with way too many pierc­ings: Shut the fuck up al­ready. You’re wast­ing my oxy­gen.

–Union Square