Archive for the ‘Goths’ Category

How Do You Get a Flyer Guy to Shut Up? Discuss

Flyer guy: Rainbow room! Discount admission! Observatory! Rainbow room!
(goth chick unbuttons her shirt)
Flyer guy: Rainbow room… Uh…
(goth chick reveals a Batman t‑shirt)
Flyer guy, recovering: Discount admission! Observatory!
Goth chick (in menacing voice): I’m Batman.
Flyer guy: Rainbow room! Discount admission! Batman! We got batman in Gotham! Observatory! Rainbow room! Batman! Discount admission!

–Rockefeller Plaza

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Wednesday One-Liners Idolized Wednesday Addams Growing Up

Creepy-looking, middle aged goth guy, yelling: He dances with the denizens of the underworld! [Turns to his female companion.] What was his webpage again?

–7th b/w 1st & 2nd

Goth chick: Yea, my mom cried while my dad chased me around with sandpaper.

–Pratt Campus

Overheard by: Late-Night Passerby

Goth girl to friend: I can’t wait until you’re addicted to sex.


Goth girl talking loudly to goth friend: It just sucks that everyone is such a toolbag. Like everyone. That guy right there. Toolbag. You. Toolbag. Everyone is just a toolbag. Like seven out of ten people are just tools.


Overheard by: Quippy Pasqual

Annoyed goth chick to friend: …so it looks like I’m going to be whipping some yuppies in a dungeon again.

–Bedford Ave & 3rd

Overheard by: yuppie45

Goin’ to the Chapel and We’re Gonna Get Wednesday One-Liners

Big bald guy: No, no, you don’t have to be ordained to marry people at the show. Just put on the Pope robe if you want to marry people.

–Office Building, Hudson St

Guy: I took your advice, bro. I’m gonna marry her in a little over three weeks. But… I gotta get drunk first.

–Houston & Broadway

Overheard by: erin

Suit #1 to suit #2: Well, maybe she won’t sign the pre-nup and then you’ll be free.

–Wall Street

Black chick: No! No! Ain’t no one gettin’ lynched at my wedding!

–Food Dimensions, Myrtle & Broadway

Overheard by: off white

Woman on cell: The only time he gets to be himself is when he goes away and that’s the way he saves the marriage… Otherwise it’s “Mommy, I don’t feel well’ and ‘Mommy, may I be excused from the table.”

–23rd St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Mugsy’s Moll

Goth chick on phone: He proposed to me while he was in me… Yea, well, I mean he told me after that he really meant it!

–Penn Station

It’s Almost Gotten to the Point Where I Can Sit Down Again

Creepy goth guy: Wait, so did he cry when you guys broke up?
Fat chick: Basically, it was like, ‘Things are different now, dude. It’s a complete role reversal. It’s like I’m the guy and you’re the girl, and, quite frankly, I don’t want to put my dick in you.‘
Creepy goth guy: Oh, I’ve heard that one before.

–The Met

Overheard by: Shaaaane