Archive for the ‘Grand Central’ Category

Just An­oth­er Five Min­utes, Mom

Woman tap­ping bum who pass­es out lean­ing against new­ly-ar­rived train: Ex­cuse me, sir… Sir! You’re lean­ing against the train and it’s about to leave!
Bum: Oh! Huh? Thank you.
Woman: Ex­cuse me, sir? You’re still on the train… Get off of that train, you fuck­ing bum!
Bum: Yes ma’am!

–Down­town 6 plat­form, Grand Cen­tral

Over­heard by: off white

They Even Go to the Bath­room Crazy

Hobo: Don’t you be lookin’ at my dick, moth­er­fuck­er!
Homed: What?
Hobo: You look at you own dick when you takin’ a piss!
Homed: I was­n’t look­ing–
Hobo: Muther­fuckin’ fag­got. Prob­a­bly same fag­got pissin’ AIDS all over every­body. Ough­ta put a bul­let up you ass…

–Grand Cen­tral men’s room

Over­heard by: john chi­anese

A hobo has peed on him­self.

Hobo: What the fuck? Can’t a brotha go to the bath­room with­out all you bitch­es starin’ like it’s some­thing new?

–Prospect Park

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Pre­fer Sub­way Sand­wich­es

Lost-look­ing chick on cell: Why do they al­ways fuck with the trains on week­ends? Don’t they know there are stoned peo­ple try­ing to get home?

–Sub­way Plat­form, Grand Cen­tral

Over­heard by: Poog­tas­tic

Loud­speak­er dis­patch­er la­dy: Hey you! Up­town num­ber 5! You bet­ter stop stick­ing your head out the win­dow and an­swer me on the ra­dio!

–Up­town 4,5,6 Train, Union Square

Over­heard by: da sarkastik nin­ja.

El­e­gant gen­tle­man, as train starts to de­part sta­tion: Oh, I did­n’t re­al­ize the train was go­ing to move.

–Crowd­ed Up­town 1 Train

MTA an­nounce­ment: The up­town 1 train is run­ning.

–Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: Kriszti­na

Dis­patch­er: The ar­riv­ing train will be the next train. The ar­riv­ing train will be the next train.

–G Train, Court Square

Over­heard by: Ka­trink

Old man: I’m com­ing, train. I’m com­ing. I’m com­ing, train, you son of a bitch bas­tard!

–6 Train

As­sum­ing You En­joyed Any of That

Teen girl #1: How many guys have you slept with?
Teen girl #2: Let’s see… There was the rape — ha­ha, re­mem­ber that? I don’t count him. Then there were the two guys I had butt sex with. Let’s not count that ei­ther. I’d say about nine? I can’t re­mem­ber the ex­act num­ber.
Teen girl #1: Oh, you’re fine, then.

–Grand Cen­tral

Over­heard by: Claire