Archive for the ‘Gripes’ Category

NewsFlash: New Jersey Builds Immigration Wall

Yuppie on cell cutting long line, to cashier: I’d like to buy some cookies.
Cashier: Um, the line starts back there, sir.
Yuppie, into cell: I hate the fucking East Side. Everyone thinks they’re hot shit. I can’t figure out this fucking line — all I want to do is buy some fucking cookies… New Jersey is my destiny.

–Bakery, 70th & Lex

People Who Shouldn't Go to Japan

Average Joe: Short people are insufferable!
Shorter friend: Tell me about it!

–Bleecker St & Carmine St

Overheard by: Lezbotron

Headline by: Jane

Runners-Up:
· “…And They Have Limited Vocabularies and Will Agree With Anything” – Bob
· “I Thought I Just Did.” – Katie
· “That Scene From “The Wizard Of Oz” Was Like Hell on Earth!” – space coyote
· “To Be Fair, He Did Reply in That High-Pitched Cackle” – Kenneth
· “Tom Cruise Is Refreshingly Self-Aware” – Meg

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Better Hundreds Dead Than Myself Inconvenienced

Hispanic guy: Can you believe they shut down the train station ’cause one guy got sick.
Old black guy: Fuckin’ selfish-ass people, man. Selfish.
Young woman: He was having a seizure.
Old black guy: Well, I would’ve dragged him out or something.
White guy: I can’t believe this is happening to me on my first day out of jail.

–116th & Broadway bus stop

Overheard by: Kendall