Chick #1: Eeeeeew, I hate this show!
Chick #2: Me too! Hella boring.
Chick #1: I'm probably going to watch it.
Chick #2: Oh, me too.
–Times Square
Archive for the ‘Gripes’ Category
We're New Yorkers, Dude.
Old white guy: Hey man, how are you?
Black delivery guy: Pretty good, man, can't complain…
Old white guy: Why not?
–Henry & Montague
Overheard by: Priya Ahuja
Damn You, Emo, with Your Googly Eyes and Red Fur
Hipster chick: God, stop being so emo!
Non-hip guy: I am not emo! [Stops and thinks.] I didn’t even like that movie. Fuckin’ fish.
–St. Mark’s Pl
Raise Your Hand If You're Craving a Burger Now
Hot girl #1: And he said, “I hate that bitch, I wish she'd eat an Aids burger and die!”
Hot girl #2: He said that?
Hot girl #1: Yep, that's what he says when he's hating on people: “I wish she'd eat an Aids burger and die.”
Hot girl #2: Well, at least he's saying what I'm thinking… That's like when I see an anorexic girl, I'm like, “I just wanna shove a burger down that bitch's throat.”
Hot girl #1: Oh, well, I'm not thinking that. I'm just like, “I wanna break her bones.”
(they laugh)
Hot girl #1: It's true! I'm like, “I just wanna blow gently, and watch you blow away.”
–L Train
Overheard by: Eden Twilight
From Every Other Kid in the Shoe
Four-year-old boy: You're so mean to me, mama!
Mom: Yeah, I get that all the time.
–Commodities Natural Market, 10th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Richelle
Falling Down Radicalized Him
Man #1: Yeah, I’m always getting blamed by someone for everything because I’m the man. Fat, white, middle-aged guy in a suit. Yep, it’s my fault.
Man #2: The Texas accent doesn’t help, either.
–E train, 42nd St
Overheard by: Yeah it is probably his fault
C’mon, That Shit Was Weaker Than What We Snorted at Frank’s Funeral
Dude #1: It’s not like you did anything for me…
Dude #2: I brought the cocaine… I brought cocaine for you at my engagement party!
–Rumsey Field, Central Park
Overheard by: Jet Black
Preferably with Uprooted Oaks, although Maples Usually Get the Message Across
Young mom to disabled son: I do everything for you — I move trees for you, and then you fuck it up and I have to wale on you!
–24th & 2nd
Overheard by: Becka Dash
What’s the Point of Even Going There If We Have to Behave?
Guido teen #1: I’m serious, you do not want to go to jail in Europe!
Guido teen #2: For reals — they’re, like, mad strict over there…
Guido teen #1: Damn…
–42nd St, Astoria
Good Manners Sometimes Skip Two Generations
Daughter, loudly licking her fingers: Wow! That was great!
Mother: Stop that!
Daughter: What? It was good…
Mother: Stop that! It is not appropriate.
Daughter: Would you lower your voice?!
Mother: No, what you’re doing is disgusting!
Daughter: Please keep your voice down. It’s embarrassing!
Mother: No, not until you stop smacking your lips! Do you do that when you’re out with your friends? They must be embarrassed when you do that.
Daughter: Um, no, we all do it.
–Virgil’s BBQ
Overheard by: trying hard not to laugh