Archive for the ‘Gripes’ Category

You’d Think They’d Tai­lor Them More to Me

Con­duc­tor (over PA sys­tem): Make sure you pick up all your be­long­ings… If you have small chil­dren, be sure to take them by the hand be­fore leav­ing the train. Thank you for rid­ing New Jer­sey tran­sit, and have a great day.
Jer­sey girl (to suit): Now see, I don’t have chil­dren! They haven’t thought these an­nounce­ments through.

–NJ Tran­sit

Wait, You Got Peeps?

Woman in self-scan lane, yelling at em­ploy­ee: These Peeps won’t scan!
Em­ploy­ee: Ma’am, please calm down. I can scan them in for you.
Woman: No, you know what? I don’t need the Peeps. I’ll take my Pep­si and for­get the Peeps. Peeps not scan­ning… Ugh!
Em­ploy­ee, un­der her breath: Every fuck­ing time this bitch is in here…

–Food Em­po­ri­um

Over­heard by: Meaghan

Quee­queg the Tam­poon­er Thought Oth­er­wise

Roomie #1: Why is this non-slip grip on the new tam­pon ads such a big deal? When do I re­al­ly need some su­per non-slip grip sport tam­pon?
Roomie #2: You know, when you’re un­der wa­ter.
Roomie #1: Un­der wa­ter?! I am not the Lit­tle Mer­maid!

–Ford­ham Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: a con­fused roo­mate #3

And Will­ing to Share Her Meth

Guy: So, Rob slept with that trail­er trash chick last night.
Girl: Holy shit! Which one?
Guy: The meth-head-look­ing one. You don’t think she looks like to­tal trail­er trash?
Girl: Oh my god, she had trail­er trash ooz­ing out of her fuck­ing pores!
Guy: So why were you talk­ing to her half the night?
Girl: What­ev­er. She was re­al­ly nice.

–Ter­race ta­ble, Blue Wa­ter Grill, Union Square

Over­heard by: ebiz­zle