Archive for the ‘Ground Zero’ Category

It’s All Greek to Me

Busi­ness­guy: It’s a small world.
Busi­ness­chick: Es­pe­cial­ly in As­to­ria!
Busi­ness­guy: Ha, ha, ha!
Busi­ness­chick: Hee, hee.

–Mid­town of­fice

Sad­ly Not Be­yond the Realm of Pos­si­bil­i­ty

Kid press­es call but­ton on com­muter hot­line phone.

Fa­ther: Why did you do that?
Son: I’m sor­ry. I did­n’t know what it was.
Fa­ther: If you do that again the po­lice will ar­rest you.
Son: Re­al­ly?
Fa­ther: Yes, George Bush will come and take you to jail.
Son: What?
Fa­ther: He will kill you and put your pic­ture on the Wall of Mem­o­ries [Ground Ze­ro fea­ture].

–World Trade Cen­ter PATH sta­tion

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Aren’t a Tourist At­trac­tion, Ass­holes

Chick to friend, stand­ing silent­ly for sev­er­al min­utes: You know, there re­al­ly is­n’t that much to see here.

–Ground Ze­ro

Woman on cell: What about the Christ­mas cards with the twin tow­ers sur­round­ed by flow­ers? … Yeah. Kin­da grim, huh?

–Barnes & No­ble, Lin­coln Cen­ter

Over­heard by: Karyn Re­gal

Wannabe-hard­core bim­bette: So, this is where it all went down, huh? Where the shit hit the fan…

–PATH sta­tion, WTC

Over­heard by: Wes­T­exMike

Tourist man to MTA la­dy: I want to go to that World Trade Cen­ter thing.

–14th St sta­tion

Tourist: Is this nine-eleven?

–Ground Ze­ro

Over­heard by: du­plic­i­ty

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Have Lost Their Group

Teenage boy tourist: Times Square is by far the coolest part of New York. It’s al­most like heav­en!

–Times Square

A tourist is cran­ing his neck to pho­to­graph the Em­pire State Build­ing.

New York­er: What is he look­ing at?! … Oh.

–34th & 5th

Tourist: There is­n’t any­where with­in walk­ing dis­tance.

–53rd & Lex

Over­heard by: Not a Clue­less Tourist

Hobo, af­ter steal­ing some­one’s lug­gage: Tourists need to be more care­ful when they come to New York City.

–6th Ave & 23rd St

Over­heard by: BOB Sled

Tourist drop­ping mon­ey in front of frozen fe­male mime he’s been star­ing at for five min­utes: That was tru­ly in­cred­i­ble. Thank you so much.

–Out­side Mo­MA

Tourist: I guess we should go to the Ground Ze­roes.

–5th Ave & 13th St

Over­heard by: Sal­ly Toma­to

Thug: Just push them out of the way. They’re tourists, they’ll love it.

–Times Square

Over­heard by: duff­duff

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers’ Home­towns Were Glad to See Them Go

Brit la­dy, to MTA booth la­dy: Two adults, please. We’ll be get­ting off around 58th Street.

–14th St F sta­tion

Over­heard by: Fid­get

Tourist: Ex­cuse me, does the F train stop here?

–Sub­way sand­wich­es, Hous­ton & Lafayette

Tourist woman, loud­ly: Jeany? How many stops are we go­ing on this train?

–Times Square shut­tle

Over­heard by: nev­er­mind

Tourist: Ex­cuse me, which way is it to Up­per Town?

–Broad­way & Worth

Over­heard by: dukes

Tourist: Is this now the Grand Canyon of the East Coast?

–Ground Ze­ro

Tourist: My plane does­n’t leave for 4 hours. Can I walk to the Stat­ue of Lib­er­ty from here?

–La Guardia Air­port

Over­heard by: Jose Her­nan­dez

Tourist, lead­ing a group of more than a dozen fel­low tourists: Okay, I… um…don’t know where we are now…Oh, wait! Yes I do! We’re at the South Street Sea­port!

–Union Square

Blonde: Look, there’s the Chrysler. Look, there’s Times Square. Where’s the Em­pire State Build­ing?

–Top of Em­pire State Build­ing

Over­heard by: eng­lish­man in new york

Tourist, to deck hand: I can’t see the Stat­ue of Lib­er­ty. Would you please move the lifeboat out of the way while I take a pic­ture?

–Stat­en Is­land Fer­ry

Over­heard by: Steven Low­ell