Guy #1: Yo, could you ever double team a girl?
Guy #2: Yes. Don’t care if there’s a naked dude right next to me, I’d rail the bitch with him. Eiffel Tower that shit.
Guy #3: Fuck that. I’d feel mad weird being naked next to another naked guy, just banging some girl… Maybe I could do it if I had my clothes on. Like, I could just fuck her through the fly. That way it wouldn’t be weird.
–East Village
Overheard by: Hiromi
Drunk girl to random sober guy: Bacon! My hands are like bacon!
Sober guy: What are you, drunk?
Drunk girl: Just very, very, very hungry.
Sober guy: Proceed.
–NYU
Five-year-old boy to father: Is this an important life lesson?
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: A
Young Asian man to woman ignoring him: Hey, let's go get a falafel. Hey, hey–you live around here often?
–Union Square
Overheard by: serena
Woman, throwing McNuggets at man: Get the fuck out of my life!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Elliot
Frantic crazy guy: I'm gonna go have a seat in Starbucks and get my life together!
–6th Ave & 25th St
Overheard by: tbomb
Suit on phone: Well that's life, you screw people over and then you go to the Bahamas.
–Train into Penn Station
Guy to whispering girl: What?
Girl #1: You don't wanna know.
Guy: Yeah, I do.
Girl #2: No, you don't.
Guy: I don't! Why do you whisper? Include me! I wanna know!
Girl #1: Fine. I'll tell you. (loudly) My uterus hurts!
–63rd Drive, Queens
Overheard by: Therese
Guy to friend: Go suck a dick!
Friend: I already did!
–91st & Columbus
Guy #1: I typed “gentrification” on Google Images and I got titties.
Guy #2: Man, you can type in anything and get titties.
–Bushwick
Dude: Is this a petting zoo sort of thing?
Chick: No. It’s a dog park sort of thing.
–Union Square dog park
Overheard by: tanechka
Guy: So, Rob slept with that trailer trash chick last night.
Girl: Holy shit! Which one?
Guy: The meth-head-looking one. You don’t think she looks like total trailer trash?
Girl: Oh my god, she had trailer trash oozing out of her fucking pores!
Guy: So why were you talking to her half the night?
Girl: Whatever. She was really nice.
–Terrace table, Blue Water Grill, Union Square
Overheard by: ebizzle
Chick: Why is level two on the third floor? Why isn’t there a ‘Floor Two’?
Guy: I dunno, hon.
Chick: Isn’t that weird, though?
Guy, as elevator goes up halfway: I think this is the second floor. It’s a secret level.
–AirTrain elevator, JFK
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Guy: What about a trampoline?
Girl: Nah, it was more fun in a shopping cart.
–5th & Broadway