Archive for the ‘Guys’ Category

Of Course, I Missed Like Every Sci­ence Class Ever

Hip­ster girl: Gosh, I’m like Pavlov’s dog!
Guy: What the hell is that?
Hip­ster girl: You don’t know? They teach it in, like, every sci­ence class ever!
Guy: So, what is it?
Hip­ster girl: It has some­thing to do with bells and drool, I’m not re­al­ly sure.

–Wash­ing­ton Square Park

Over­heard by: Tres Chic

She To­tal­ly Got Sodom­ized by the Hulk

Girl: I talked to Jack­ie. She got some kind of bug in In­dia!
Guy: Oh, no! What hap­pened?
Girl: I don’t think I should talk about this now.
Guy: What­ev­er, no one cares.
Girl: Okay. Well, she was shit­ting green.
Guy: Oh, my God! Wait, I should not be laugh­ing, that is not fun­ny at all.
Girl: Yeah, and the doc­tor asked her to bring in a stool sam­ple and she was shit­ting so much that she brought one in a half hour lat­er. The doc­tors were like, “What the fuck?”.

–Union Square Re­gal Cin­e­mas

If My Heart Made Blood I Would­n’t Need to Buy Pup­pies

Store guy: You know, I used to smoke 2–3 packs a day. It’s re­al­ly not good for you.
Dude: Are you gonna give me a dis­count on Nicorette, then?
Store guy: We don’t have it…but you don’t need that stuff any­way. It does­n’t work. All you re­al­ly need is your–

He taps his hand on his chest.

Dude: If my heart made nico­tine I would­n’t need to buy cig­a­rettes.

–Du­ane Reade, 49th & 9th

Over­heard by: Katie

It’s Very Cute

Hip­ster girl: I haven’t seen any of your Face­book pic­tures, and I’ve been your friend for like a year!
Hip­ster boy: Re­al­ly? You should.
Hip­ster girl: I’m check­ing them right now.
Hip­ster boy: Let me warn you, though — there are a lot of pic­tures of my pe­nis on there.
Hip­ster girl: Oh, I’m used to that.

–Ap­ple Store, 5th Ave