Archive for the ‘Guys’ Category

To­day It’s a Lol­ly. To­mor­row It’s a BMW

(wait­ing in line)
Four-year-old kid: Mom­my, I re­al­ly want a lol­lipop!
Mom: Uhuh, move up here hon­ey.
Kid: Mom! Just give in, I want a lol­lipop, okay?
(moth­er ig­nores him)
Kid: Just give in, it’s okay, I want one. It’s okay to give in, mom.
(pause)
Kid: Mom, this is­n’t go­ing to work for me! I want a lol­lipop!
Ran­dom guy in line: Re­sist!

–As­so­ci­at­ed Su­per­mar­kets, Bleeck­er & La­Guardia

Over­heard by: Caitlin­is­NewHere

I’m Putting You Down As a “No”

Guy #1: Yo, could you ever dou­ble team a girl?
Guy #2: Yes. Don’t care if there’s a naked dude right next to me, I’d rail the bitch with him. Eif­fel Tow­er that shit.
Guy #3: Fuck that. I’d feel mad weird be­ing naked next to an­oth­er naked guy, just bang­ing some girl… Maybe I could do it if I had my clothes on. Like, I could just fuck her through the fly. That way it would­n’t be weird.

–East Vil­lage

Over­heard by: Hi­ro­mi

One Life to Wednes­day One-Lin­er

Five-year-old boy to fa­ther: Is this an im­por­tant life les­son?

–14th & 6th

Over­heard by: A

Young Asian man to woman ig­nor­ing him: Hey, let’s go get a falafel. Hey, hey–you live around here of­ten?

–Union Square

Over­heard by: ser­e­na

Woman, throw­ing Mc­Nuggets at man: Get the fuck out of my life!

–Times Square

Over­heard by: El­liot

Fran­tic crazy guy: I’m gonna go have a seat in Star­bucks and get my life to­geth­er!

–6th Ave & 25th St

Over­heard by: tbomb

Suit on phone: Well that’s life, you screw peo­ple over and then you go to the Ba­hamas.

–Train in­to Penn Sta­tion

And Will­ing to Share Her Meth

Guy: So, Rob slept with that trail­er trash chick last night.
Girl: Holy shit! Which one?
Guy: The meth-head-look­ing one. You don’t think she looks like to­tal trail­er trash?
Girl: Oh my god, she had trail­er trash ooz­ing out of her fuck­ing pores!
Guy: So why were you talk­ing to her half the night?
Girl: What­ev­er. She was re­al­ly nice.

–Ter­race ta­ble, Blue Wa­ter Grill, Union Square

Over­heard by: ebiz­zle