Archive for the ‘Gyms’ Category

If You’re So Smart, Ex­plain the Wax

Buff dude #1: Hey, guy.
Smart guy: What’s up?
Buff dude #1: Can you set­tle some­thing? Is Por­tu­gal in Eu­rope or South Amer­i­ca?
Smart guy: Uh, it’s in Eu­rope.
Buff dude #1: See?
Buff dude #2: Okay, okay. But, like, the Por­tuguese they speak in South Amer­i­ca — that’s not the same lan­guage as they speak in South Amer­i­ca, right?
Smart guy: Ac­tu­al­ly, it is. Brazil was set­tled by the Por­tuguese, and the Span­ish got the rest of South Amer­i­ca, which is why they speak Span­ish in the oth­er coun­tries that aren’t Brazil.
Buff dude #2: Oooh! Look who passed his ge­og­ra­phy class!

–Ex­o­dus Gym, Union & Met­ro­pol­i­tan, Williams­burg

I Know a Place Where They Fix That, Too

Eu­ro hip­ster #1: I got the soles of my shoes fixed.
Eu­ro hip­ster #2: Your what?
Eu­ro hip­ster #1 #1: You know, the soles of my shoes. The bot­toms.
Eu­ro hip­ster #2: I do not know this word.
Eu­ro hip­ster #1: You know, S‑O-U‑L.
Eu­ro hip­ster #2: Ah, like ass-soul?

–New York Sports Club, As­to­ria

Over­heard by: Lizzy Ve­gas

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers for Di­ane Keaton

Straight guy in hot pink un­der­wear: Yeah, I’ve fall­en asleep in deer stands, and all kinds of weird places.

–Gold’s Gym, 54th St

Over­heard by: John­ny V

Girl on cell: His hair is wiry and weird. He had a par­ty and sold raf­fle tick­ets, the win­ner got to restyle his hair. He’s weird.

–1 Train

Over­heard by: whirlygirlie518

White teen girl to friends: No, no, no! I told you guys, if I mar­ry a Japan­ese, then there’s all that weird sex stuff. I’m mar­ry­ing Ko­re­an. They’re adorable, and don’t have that weird com­mu­nism thing the Chi­nese do.

–Chi­na­town

Girl from Nashville on cell: They serve like weird pas­ta here with weird veg­eta­bles and weird meat. My fa­vorite meal here is break­fast. I am so ready to go home!

–La­Guardia Air­port

Over­heard by: D‑Law

I Got Their Phone Num­bers, Though

Col­lege boy #1: So, I went to this com­e­dy club last night to see some friend’s rou­tine..
Col­lege boy #2: Yeah?
Col­lege boy #1: Yeah. They were pret­ty good, but these girls al­so did a rou­tine, and girls are nev­er fun­ny. And these girls were fat, too, so there was just re­al­ly no up­side to it.
Col­lege boy #2: Right.

–Dodge Fit­ness Cen­ter, Co­lum­bia Uni­ver­si­ty

Oh, Sor­ry! I’ll Just Go Fuck My­self Now

30-ish white la­dy: You’re do­ing push-ups?
20-ish Asian girl, tak­ing off head­phones: Yes…
30-ish white la­dy: Why?
20-ish Asian girl: Um…
30-ish white la­dy: Do you do karate or Tae Kwon Do?
20-ish Asian girl: No…
30-ish white la­dy: But you’re Asian.
20-ish Asian girl: Yeah…
30-ish white la­dy: Why don’t you do Asian sports?
20-ish Asian girl: What?!
30-ish white la­dy: Have you al­ways stuck with Amer­i­can sports or have you ever tried any­thing Asian?
20-ish Asian girl: What?
30-ish white la­dy: Where are you from?
20-ish Asian girl: Man­hat­tan. [Puts head­phones back on.]

–New York Sports Club, Crowne Plaza