Archive for the ‘Gyms’ Category

Wednes­day Off-the-Rack-Lin­ers

20-some­thing man on cell: I just bought an­oth­er Trans­form­ers t‑shirt. That means I am one Trans­form­ers t‑shirt away from be­ing able to on­ly wear Trans­form­ers t‑shirts.

–9th Ave & 45th St

Over­heard by: Ser­e­na

Male art teacher: What’s wrong with chif­fon? If I were home right now, I would be wear­ing chif­fon.

–Hunter Col­lege High School

Bar own­er to col­lege kid wear­ing suit: Look atchu all dressed up. What, are you goin’ on a game show or some­thin?

–Citi Bar

Over­heard by: Lu­lu

20-some­thing girl on cell: You should’ve known when you liked his clothes that he was go­ing to be over­ly emo­tion­al. No one who dress­es that good can hold it all to­geth­er.

–Lock­er Room, Crunch Gym

Guy to group of friends: Yeah, so I said to him, “Mike, it’s a prob­lem when you wearin’ the same clothes as your daugh­ter.’ ”

–5th Ave & 14th St

Over­heard by: Sue

There Should Be an IQ Pre­req­ui­site for Adul­tery

Man #1 spot­ting bench press­ing Man #2: So, how’s the wifey?
Man #2: Oh, man, things aren’t good.
Man #1: What hap­pened?
Man #2: Her phone went dead so she bor­rowed mine. It was loud at the bar, so she went in­to the bath­room… She read my text mes­sages. I had been tex­ting some girl I hooked up with.
Man #1: Delete! Dude, delete!
Man #2: I know, but I even had her un­der a code name, ‘Rubes,’ be­cause I met her through Ruben!

–Gym, Mid­town

Over­heard by: Swr­rl­Gurll

Wednes­day Vagin­ers

En­thu­si­as­tic 20-some­thing: Oh, is that cia­bat­ta? Yum­my! When­ev­er I see cia­bat­ta, my pussy starts to swell!

–Broad­way & 13th

Ran­dom passer­by: He wants a vagi­na. In and around his mouth.

–The Vil­lage

Cute NYU blonde: He won’t like, touch my vagi­na with his hands. That means he’s gay, right?

–Mer­cury Lounge, LES

Drunk Lati­na to drunk white girl whose boyfriend stepped out to get a pa­per bag: Girl, just tell him to take you home. Tell him you want to sleep tonight. Tell him your pussy is closed!

–Mc­Don­ald’s, 14th St & 7th Ave

Over­heard by: ehka

Girl in gym: Every­thing on my body is flac­cid, ex­cept my vagi­na.

–Ford­ham Gym

Cute, Cuter, Wednes­day-One-Linest

Port­ly young woman brows­ing dress for her­self, non­cha­lant­ly: Oh, this is cute, but too bad it does­n’t come in fat-ass-bitch size.

–Tar­get, Brook­lyn

20-some­thing girl to boyfriend: Oh my god, you are so cute I just wan­na punch you in the face!

–135th & 5th

Over­heard by: Howzith

Mid­dle-aged woman on cell ex­it­ing bus: You have a blessed day! (to phone) No, not you! I was talk­ing to the bus driver–he was re­al­ly cute!

–Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: B44 rid­er

Stu­dent fundrais­er to passer­by: Tai­wan needs help! Hey, you’re cute enough to help Tai­wan!

–Co­lum­bia Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: L‑Dubbs

Cute blonde to friend at gym: Oh my god! Look! That looks like a cuter ver­sion of this bald guy I slept with in a clos­et over the sum­mer!

–14th & 3rd

Over­heard by: Rob Lovett

…You Should’ve Kept the 19-Year-Old on the Side!

50-some­thing guy #1: I mean, I like be­ing with her, I just feel we have noth­ing to talk about.
50-some­thing guy #2: You have to ad­mit it was­n’t re­al­ly the con­ver­sa­tion you got in­to the re­la­tion­ship for.
50-some­thing guy #1: I know. But I still wish we con­nect­ed more.
50-some­thing guy #2, ex­as­per­at­ed, sud­den­ly much loud­er: Well, then you should­n’t have left your wife for a 19-year old!

–As­phalt Green Gym

Over­heard by: Richard