Archive for the ‘Hair’ Category

How Shirley Temple Ended Up at the Party

20-something guy to female friend leaving house party: If you see Sophia, say hi to her. She’s never been to our place before, so just let her know how to get in.
Female friend: I have no idea what she looks like!
20-something guy: She has curly hair!
Female friend, walking outside: I am so going to fuck this up.

–86th St & Lexington

Wednesday One-Liners Sock It to Me, Sock It to Me, Sock It to Me, Sock It to Me…

Ghetto black woman to four-year-old son: The ice ain’t gonna respect you, you gotta respect the ice, nigga.

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Steven

Obnoxiously loud drunk guy: I need a girl who will respect my receding hairline!

–Virgil’s, W 44th St

Overheard by: Check, please!

Thugette: I’m just going to say, “Look, I mean no disrespect, but go fuck yourself. I mean no disrespect, but just go fuck yourself.”

–6 Train

Overheard by: i mean disrespect

20-something guy to friend: Man, you don’t understand. I really respect this broad…

–35th St & Lexington

And He Always Explodes Too Soon

Cute blonde: So, I thought I might like him, and we went on some fun dates, but then he shaved his head and now I can’t go out with him.
Friend: Wait — what’s wrong with him shaving his head?
Cute blonde: Well, nothing in theory, but now he looks like a terrorist.

–116th & Broadway

Overheard by: uptown girl

Headline by: Sarah K

Runners-Up:
· “…Or Ghandi, Whichever.” — Johnny
· “And He Wants Me to Call Him Britney in Bed” — Sim Etrias
· “And the Anthrax in His Apartment Is No Picnic Either” — Naked Lunch
· “Oh, Whew… I Thought You Said, “tourist”” — Rhadamanthus
· “Plus, I Wouldn’t Qualify As One Of His 72 Virgins” — MarioRPG
· “Racial Profiling Is So Hot Right Now” — Fran

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

You May Need to Exfoliate and Moisturize

Teenage girl #1: Ew, I have such bad dandruff. I need to like get rid of it because I can never wear black.
Teenage girl #2: Ew I know, me too! Except I have crotch dandruff.
Teenage girl #1: Umm… What’s that?
Teenage girl #2: I don’t know but every time I scratch my crotch it looks like it’s snowing.

–A Train

Overheard by: Does that mean she can’t wear black pants?