Archive for the ‘Hand-Jobs’ Category

What Passes As Gentlemanly in NYC

Girl #1: That show was so good.
Girl #2: I know — some guy tried to finger me.
Girl #1: What?!
Girl #2: Yeah… He was dancing with his girlfriend and then he turned around and saw me. It was kinda nice…

–Terminal 5

Overheard by: Kelly

Wednesday O‑o-o-oooo-One-Liners

Skinny Spanish girl: That nigga was saying how he had me moaning and screaming, but I was like, “nigga, I’m just loud–that doesn’t mean you’re good!”

–Ft. Hamilton Parkway, Brooklyn

Overheard by: also loud

Ghetto chick to friend: Yo…in my country, it’s illegal to not please your woman. You gotta fuck her till she begs you to stop.

–116th & 1st

Overheard by: DonnaRae

Man on phone: Yeah…I just fingerblasted her for like an hour. No big deal.

–E 4th St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: intern2

Mom to teenage son: And I was like “sure, have sex in my bed, it never sees any.”

–Mercer & W 3rd

Girl on cell: Oh no, he’s back fucking his secretary now, so I’m like, completely free!

–East Village

20-something on cell, after loud graphic sex tale: And don’t you be telling anyone! I don’t like strangers knowing my business.

–Express Bus to Brooklyn

Everyone Knows Red Means “Stop”

Girl to friend: I think I just saw the guy I was with last night.
Friend: You gonna go say something to him?
Girl: No way! First he made me give him a handjob for like an hour, then he shot right in my eye. I think it’s still red.
Friend: Your eye or his cock?
Girl: Either way, no second date.

–Downtown 3 Train

Overheard by: hellokitty