Archive for the ‘Hard Drugs’ Category

Meds­day One-Lin­ers

Ra­di­ol­o­gy nurse: I have been asked out be­fore. But nev­er while giv­ing a bar­i­um en­e­ma!

–Ra­di­ol­o­gy Med­ical Of­fice, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Pa­per

Doc­tor on cell: I have to get ori­ent­ed as to the lo­ca­tion of those ca­dav­ers!

–3rd Ave, Near Cabri­ni Med­ical Cen­ter

Old­er doc­tor to younger doc­tor in a group: You ac­tu­al­ly tried to get a der­ma­tol­ogy con­sul­tant to come in the mid­dle of the night? That was pret­ty dumb. You know those guys would­n’t get out of their Shea but­ter body wraps un­less the world was end­ing.

–Kings Coun­ty Emer­gency Room

Suit to la­dy friend: If you re­al­ly want­ed to smoke crack you’d go to the hos­pi­tal!

–Nas­sau St & Ann St

Over­weight girl to fe­male friend: Wan­na play gy­ne­col­o­gist?

–St. Mark’s Place

Over­heard by: Sarah Booz

She’s on Coke, Du­u­uh!

Bus dri­ver: That’s what crack will do to you.
Crazy la­dy: What? Crack? Did you say I’m on crack? Hell no. I have too much ass to be on crack. I have too much jew­el­ry to be on crack. You see these? They’re re­al di­a­monds. You hear these? They’re keys jin­gling — keys to my house. Next time you see some­one hav­ing a bad day, just say ‘I guess they’re hav­ing a bad day’ not ‘they’re on crack. Pray for me and I’ll pray for you!

–125th & Am­s­ter­dam

Over­heard by: Columbi­a­Cat

Dried-Up Spinal Flu­id Is So 1994

Cus­tomer: So, what’s new? Been a while…
Wait­ress: Not much. Kind of a weird day, though. [The own­er] was in here with his kid ear­li­er, though, and he was do­ing E.
Cus­tomer: Wow.
Wait­ress: ‘Wow’ is right. I mean, se­ri­ous­ly — who does E any­more?

–Piz­za Shop, Mott St, So­ho

Just Re­mem­ber to Save the In­ter­course for Grades

Grad stu­dent girl: How did your work go to­day?
Grad stu­dent guy: Pret­ty good. I took some Adder­all. God, it helps–it’s like crack.
Grad stu­dent girl: Oh my god! Re­al­ly? I’ll suck your dick for a pill.
Grad stu­dent guy: Damn straight you will.

–Fish Bar, East Vil­lage

Over­heard by: John-John