Archive for the ‘Hard Drugs’ Category

Dried-Up Spinal Fluid Is So 1994

Customer: So, what’s new? Been a while…
Waitress: Not much. Kind of a weird day, though. [The owner] was in here with his kid earlier, though, and he was doing E.
Customer: Wow.
Waitress: ‘Wow’ is right. I mean, seriously — who does E anymore?

–Pizza Shop, Mott St, Soho

Just Remember to Save the Intercourse for Grades

Grad student girl: How did your work go today?
Grad student guy: Pretty good. I took some Adderall. God, it helps–it's like crack.
Grad student girl: Oh my god! Really? I'll suck your dick for a pill.
Grad student guy: Damn straight you will.

–Fish Bar, East Village

Overheard by: John-John

Son Of a Wednesday One-Liner Man

Evangelist outside gym: You want to be a macho man? Look at Jesus!

–Broadway & Prince

Street evangelist on microphone: Y'all ever see two female pigeons in bed together?

–Fordham Plaza

Very agitated priest: Jesus was a zygote once–what if Mary aborted him?

–St. Luke's Church, Whitestone

Crazy subway evangelist: If god could make me a good crackhead, you best believe he could make me a good preacher.

–E Train

Overheard by: Giggling at crack

Preacher: And that's why your religion is null and void.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Alfie