Archive for the ‘Health and Hygiene’ Category

Nobody Puts Wednesday One-Liner in the Corner!

Blonde white girl to another: And I was all like, "I'm not throwing the baby over the fence!"

–Spring St

Overheard by: Maria Emma

Girl to mother: Oh, look at daddy with the baby in one hand and the bottle of bourbon in the other. And in the morning, too!

–Williamsburg

Condom vendor: Obama and McCain election special condoms! 3 for $10 and 1 for $5, all cheaper than a baby!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Aalok

Mom with stroller to friend: She's incapacitated already, so she might as well have his baby.

–6th Ave & 4th St

Wednesday One-Liner Ink

Girl to friend: She has a Shakespeare quote tattooed on her body, so she must be smart.

–Bleecker St

Overheard by: Lyssa

Middle aged dude to another: That fucken bitch, man. I wish I had her on a t-shirt instead of on my chest and back.

–Prince & Lafayette

Slightly ghetto white girl on cell: What happens when a bug bites you on your tattoo?

–D Train

Overheard by: 4-dumb

Tourist grandmother to eight-year-old granddaughter: Do, do you like mommy's new neck tattoo? (pause) Yeah, me neither.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Jas

McDreamy Wednesday One-Liners

Woman: Why are you not breathing? You’re the worst patient ever!

–ER, Methodist Hospital

Overheard by: Gena

Hipster to boyfriend: So, I lost three pounds last week. It’s because I went to the gynecologist…

–28th & 8th

Overheard by: Waiting for the next sentence

Nurse pushing old man in wheelchair: I’m not a real nurse.

–St. John’s Hospital

Boyfriend to girlfriend as they consume foot-long hotdogs: You’ve gotta ask yourself one question. Are you prepared to put your hands in shit every day? Because that’s all a job in health care is — putting your hands in shit.

–45th & 8th

Overheard by: kat

EMT rolling patient in on stretcher: This is the most ghetto hospital ever!

–ER, Woodhull Hospital, Brooklyn

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