Archive for the ‘Height’ Category

How Many Weight Watch­ers Points Are in a Wednes­day One-Lin­er?

Young man: You’re fat be­cause you need to re­lease. Look at me, that’s why I’m slim and sexy. I beat off every day.

–Prospect Heights, Brook­lyn

Sales­girl to sales­girl friend: I wan­na thank you for tak­ing the time to re­peat­ed­ly hit me in my arm fat and make it jig­gle.

–Hen­ri Ben­del

Over­heard by: Stephan Dion

Pro­fes­sor to class of girls: You guys are all thin (looks around class­room and no­tices there are some fat girls) …most­ly.

–Fash­ion In­sti­tute of Tech­nol­o­gy

Suit to an­oth­er: All I’m try­ing to say is, she’s not tall enough for her weight.

–Up­town 6 Train

Over­heard by: ed­napon­tel­li­er

Black girl: Fat peo­ple can do splits be­cause they have no bones.

–Piz­za Place, St. Mark’s Place

Five-year-old to very over­weight man while wait­ing for Thanks­giv­ing Day pa­rade: Are you one of the bal­loons?

–Broad­way & 50th St

Over­heard by: Pe­ter

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Ain’t Got the Mon­ey, Hon­ey

Old­er man, to no one in par­tic­u­lar: That’s why I keep my in­come low, so no one jumps me.

–Myr­tle & Clin­ton, Brook­lyn

Woman with scratch-off lot­to card to friend: I won four dol­lars! I won four dol­lars! You know I can’t spend that, though. I got­ta get food for my kids. Those nig­gas be hun­gry!

–Stat­en Is­land Fer­ry

An­gel­ic-look­ing teen girl scream­ing in­to cell: Are you com­ing to the movies with me? You’re broke? Just mug some­one on the way. Mug some­one! (pause) Mug! M‑u-g! Rhymes with “thug”!

–Cham­bers & West St

Puer­to Ri­can dude on cell: I ain’t got no mon­ey. I got weed, but I ain’t got no mon­ey.

–25th St & 7th Ave

Vil­lage la­dy: She was in fore­clo­sure be­fore it was fash­ion­able to be in fore­clo­sure.

–Bleeck­er & Mer­cer

Over­heard in Wednes­day One-Lin­er

20-some­thing dude to an­oth­er: It’s so hard to get laid in this city be­fore 11 pm!

–M‑15 Bus

Hot­tie: I am in New York City. You need to make $250,000 to live like a white per­son.

–28th & 29th

Over­heard by: A black per­son from Chica­go

20-some­thing male to fe­male: So you’d bet­ter be pre­pared. It’s like the Times Square of New York.

–16th St & Union Square

Over­heard by: An­nie B

Mid­dle-aged His­pan­ic dude to In­di­an sales­per­son: This is New York City. No­body’s gonna kill you, okay?

–Rite-Aid

Young gay man: That’s what I hate about New York City. It’s such a fuck­ing small town.

–14th St & 2nd Ave

Over­heard by: molls

Dirty, Sexy Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Young gay guy in Daisy Dukes, shades and tank top, yam­mer­ing away on cell: Is it to­tal­ly ac­cept­able to have sex on the beach there?

–43rd St & 8th Ave

Over­heard by: An­na Rose

Teen boy to friend: If I were a gi­ant I’d fuck the Stat­ue of Lib­er­ty!

–Hous­ton & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Hen­ry

Chick to friend: As soon as I get over this yeast in­fec­tion, I’m gonna bang the shit out of him.

–Mc­Don­ald’s, Times Square

Over­heard by: Keep It Movin’

Black guy on cell: Pen­e­tra­tion?! Pen­e­tra­tion?! It ain’t about pen­e­tra­tion, it’s all about sen­sa­tion.

–E 4th St

Over­heard by: girl named sug­ar

Drunk man to drunk woman, while mak­ing out against a car: Let’s just go with it…let’s just fuck on top of the car.

–Bleeck­er & Mac­dou­gal

Girl to the guy at the next ta­ble: Haven’t I slept with you be­fore?

–Stabrucks, 78th & Lex­ing­ton

Over­heard by: Ash­lee