Archive for the ‘Height’ Category

Dirty, Sexy Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Young gay guy in Daisy Dukes, shades and tank top, yam­mer­ing away on cell: Is it to­tal­ly ac­cept­able to have sex on the beach there?

–43rd St & 8th Ave

Over­heard by: An­na Rose

Teen boy to friend: If I were a gi­ant I’d fuck the Stat­ue of Lib­er­ty!

–Hous­ton & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Hen­ry

Chick to friend: As soon as I get over this yeast in­fec­tion, I’m gonna bang the shit out of him.

–Mc­Don­ald’s, Times Square

Over­heard by: Keep It Movin’

Black guy on cell: Pen­e­tra­tion?! Pen­e­tra­tion?! It ain’t about pen­e­tra­tion, it’s all about sen­sa­tion.

–E 4th St

Over­heard by: girl named sug­ar

Drunk man to drunk woman, while mak­ing out against a car: Let’s just go with it…let’s just fuck on top of the car.

–Bleeck­er & Mac­dou­gal

Girl to the guy at the next ta­ble: Haven’t I slept with you be­fore?

–Stabrucks, 78th & Lex­ing­ton

Over­heard by: Ash­lee

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers and Tigers and Bears–Oh, My!

Young woman to an­oth­er: But do you know how big a horse dick is?

–5th Ave & Car­roll, Park Slope

Girl: I’m re­al­ly tired. I’m, like, an an­i­mal ac­tivist right now.

–Park­ing Lot, Broad­way Mall

Over­heard by: Lysa

Stu­dent: I’m not that sen­si­tive. I can watch those videos where they like, tor­ture the an­i­mal or what­ev­er, and then I’ll go eat it.

–Car­do­zo Law School

Asian girl: Does this make me look like a sad Pan­da?

–NYU Din­ing Hall

Co­lum­bia girl: I’d nev­er have asked if I knew he was the one who’d killed it. But I did­n’t sus­pect him. Who’d spend their time stran­gling a ger­bil?

–Co­lum­bia Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: Who’d have thought?

Gui­do to friend: Yo, it smells like a skunk burped up a hot dog.

–Penn Sta­tion

La­dy on speak­er: If you have an an­i­mal, please do not put it through the X‑ray.

–La­Guardia Air­port

Wednes­day Fun­bag-Lin­ers

Teenage girl: Ohmigod. Does­n’t she know that the “hav­ing big boobs” thing is, like, not in any­more?

–86th St

Over­heard by: Kevin

Girl to an­oth­er: It splashed on my boob… Then he slurped it off!

–Charles & 4th

Over­heard by: Er­ic

20-some­thing guy, singing: I wan­na touch some boobs. I wan­na touch some boobs. I wan­na touch some boobs. I wan­na find my moth­er­fuck­ing sock, ’cause I don’t know where it is. I wan­na touch some boobs…

–Pratt In­sti­tute

An­gry hobo to col­lege chick with big boobs zip­ping up her jack­et: Don’t put them tit­ties away!

–5th & 21st

El­der­ly woman to hus­band: I keep my busi­ness in my bo­som!

–Carnegie Deli

Young Ur­ban Pro­fes­sion­al Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Yup­pie screen­writer girl: So I was a very pre­co­cious child. Or what­ev­er, y’­know. And I just want­ed to ex­plore that dy­nam­ic a lit­tle bit? Ba­si­cal­ly it’s a bud­dy pic­ture be­tween the lit­tle me and the big me.

–14th & 8th

Yup­pie woman: And what do I say to that? “I have a smack habit, give me mon­ey”!

–St. Mark’s Place

Yup­pie man: If I hear “breast milk cup­cakes” one more time…

–Out­side Gotham Bar and Grill

Yup­pie, thought­ful­ly: It’s not the mus­tard, it’s what the mus­tard rep­re­sents!

–Food Em­po­ri­um, 2nd Ave