Archive for the ‘Heroin’ Category

Wednes­day One-Lit­ters

Lit­tle girl to moth­er: I don’t wan­na be a lawyer any­more, when I grow up I wan­na be a cat!

–Chelsea

Woman to friend: I mean, he’s just so an­ti-so­cial! He has like 19 cats!

–Lafayette & Prince

Girl to friend: My cat is a flam­ing ho­mo­sex­u­al.

–34th & 5th

Girl: And so she says, “let’s fol­low the cat!” So we do, and the cat leads us to a pile of hero­in!

–Cafe­te­ria, Barnard Col­lege

Wednes­day One-lin­ers Have to Get an In­ter­ven­tion

Woman: Oh! I got you some Xanax for your wed­ding day.

–14th & 9th

Guy: I don’t call my­self an al­co­holic any more. I find it re­al­ly hard to sep­a­rate out my shit like that.

–Wash­ing­ton Square South

Woman: I think I’m just go­ing to stay in and have a hero­in night.

–11th & Uni­ver­si­ty

Is­n’t It Time You Talked to Your Kids About Wednes­day One-Lin­ers?

Creep­ster: Hey there… do you like drugs? … How about Gand­hi?

–Cham­bers &and West Broad­way

Girl on cell: So I opened the en­ve­lope on the train… Yeah it was hero­in.

–W 46th Ave

Bum: Ex­cuse me! Hey, hey! Ex­cuse me! Check it out! I am go­ing to smoke crack all fuck­ing night, and there is­n’t any­thing any­one can do about it, be­cause that’s what I’m go­ing to do, I’m go­ing to smoke so much crack!

–West 4th at Wash­ing­ton Square Park

Over­heard by: Cory

Guy to hun­gover girl: Every­day you look more and more like you do hero­in.

–Rel­ish Bar & Grill

Prep­py dude: I like do­ing drugs too much to be a Bud­dhist.

–Ar­lene’s Gro­cery

Mom to ten-year-old son: … But that’s like say­ing hero­in is the on­ly drug to try!

–14th St & 9th Ave

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Are My An­ti-Drug

Hot black girl: Where did sum­mer go? Now we’re all back to wear­ing glass­es and snort­ing Adder­all… or tak­ing it with wa­ter.

–24th St & 3rd Ave

Guy to friend: If I just gave up speed I’d to­tal­ly be get­ting more ass.

–Bleeck­er & La­Guardia

Over­heard by: Jack

Guy to an­oth­er: Yeah, so you take a gram of coke, then mix it with a ground-up Xanax, then mash up an E. Then you put it all in­to pill form, and down it with a Sparks!

–N Train

Ar­chi­tec­ture pro­fes­sor: Every­thing in mod­er­a­tion… ex­cept for hero­in. Hero­in, you go for the gus­to.

–Pratt In­sti­tute

Over­heard by: De­nali