50-year-old female crackhead hobo chasing a 30-year-old male post office worker: Why won’t you fuck me? Come fuck me! Are you too scared to fuck me?!
–50th St & 5th Ave
Man talking to stranger outside peep show: No, no, no. This is a peep show. If you want to fuck someone, you have to go somewhere else.
–8th Ave, Midtown
Horny NYU hipster: I haven’t had sex in 3 months! If I were a heroin addict I’d have been clean for 2 months already!
Loud middle-aged woman on cell: And I was like, “Don’t worry, lady, I’m not getting any action!”
Overheard by: the libbernator
Old man to old lady: No, I will not bonk you!
–Avenue J & E 12 St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Robert