Archive for the ‘Hipsters’ Category

But Fun­ni­ly Enough, What Re­al­ly Set her off was ‘I’m On­ly With you for the Pussy’

Hip­ster guy: So she said in a few years, she would be ready for chil­dren.
Hip­ster girl: So what did you say to her?
Hip­ster guy: I told her in a few years, I would be ready for a pup­py, or a house­plant. Or maybe a moun­tain bike.
Hip­ster girl: That was the wrong an­swer.

–As­to­ria bound N train

Over­heard by: sillyso­cial­work­er

What Not to Wednes­day One-Lin­er

Hip­ster girl: Look, just be­cause you’re preg­nant does­n’t mean you have to dress like a fifth grad­er.

–Union Pool, Brook­lyn

Vain fag, look­ing at pants: I re­al­ly love these shorts, I hope they’re *in* this sum­mer…

–LIRR

Guy wear­ing bright green leather clogs: No, I’d nev­er wear crocs. They’re ug­ly.

–For­est Hills Gar­dens, Queens

Over­heard by: Aloof Lon­er

Goth girl: Let’s buy fur coats and throw paint on our­selves.

–Bloom­ing­dale’s

Dis­em­bod­ied voice: Yo, these are mom jeans. I hate that shit! The waist goes all the way up to your stom­ach and then it makes a lit­tle V‑neck pouch for your vagi­na. I hate that shit!

–Fit­ting Rooms, Gap in Her­ald Square

Over­heard by: Zarya

[Wait­ing in line for the washroom.]Lady, bawl­ing her eyes out: Sor­ry, I or­dered this jack­et, and it’s two sizes too big!

–Ma­cy’s

Over­heard by: Tra­cy

Of Course, I Missed Like Every Sci­ence Class Ever

Hip­ster girl: Gosh, I’m like Pavlov’s dog!
Guy: What the hell is that?
Hip­ster girl: You don’t know? They teach it in, like, every sci­ence class ever!
Guy: So, what is it?
Hip­ster girl: It has some­thing to do with bells and drool, I’m not re­al­ly sure.

–Wash­ing­ton Square Park

Over­heard by: Tres Chic

Since I’m Still On­ly Halfway Through Great Sex­pec­ta­tions

Hip­ster girl: You know, you re­al­ly should try read­ing some­thing with more sub­stance… Like War and Peace.
Queer, flip­ping through fash­ion mag: ‘Warm Piece’? Is that, like, porn?
Hip­ster girl: I said, War. And. Peace.
Queer: Okay, I’m not read­ing any mag­a­zine I’ve nev­er even heard of.

–F train

Over­heard by: Kathy Ian­doli

It’s Very Cute

Hip­ster girl: I haven’t seen any of your Face­book pic­tures, and I’ve been your friend for like a year!
Hip­ster boy: Re­al­ly? You should.
Hip­ster girl: I’m check­ing them right now.
Hip­ster boy: Let me warn you, though — there are a lot of pic­tures of my pe­nis on there.
Hip­ster girl: Oh, I’m used to that.

–Ap­ple Store, 5th Ave