Chick: Oh yeah, my grandmother was a prisoner in Auschwitz with Elie Wiesel.
Dude: That’s ballin’
–Brooklyn F Train
Archive for the ‘Hitler/Nazis’ Category
…As I Will Explain on All My College Applications.
Blonde seventh grader, about Holocaust: Yeah, like, I’m Jewish on my mom’s side, you’re Asian. So, basically everyone in our class would have died from the Nazis.
Asian seventh grader, to other friend: Except for Laura.
Laura: What? Why?
Asian seventh grader: Because you’re white.
Laura: I’m not white! I’m like… Pinkish or something.
–93rd St & Amsterdam
The Goy Scouts of America Could Not Be Reached for Comment
New Yorker guy: You know that summer camp I went to? My friend is now the head of it and I’m going to help him out next month.
Girl, laughing: Awww, you’re going to teach the kiddies how to canoe and tie slip knots?
New Yorker guy: No, I’m gonna teach them about the Holocaust.
Girl (laughs then pauses): Wow, that is not what we did at Girl Scout camp in Wisconsin.
–6th Ave & 19th St
With More Sodomy, or Less?
Student #1: It’s crazy to think the pope was part of the Hitler youth.
Student #2: Not really — the Hitler youth was like the YMCA of Germany.
–Van crossing GW Bridge
You Really Shouldn’t Joke about Wednesday One-Liners
Black girl: But, I mean, other than the hating everyone part, he was the nicest neo-Nazi I’ve ever met.
–Penn Station
Biker dude: I’m a Puerto Rican Nazi! I can’t be racist!
–Outside Pyramid Club, Ave A
Thug entering train at rush hour: Man, it’s like the fucking Holocaust in here.
–1 train
Overheard by: Stella Blue
Worker: I think the Holocaust sounds so bad because it’s the ‘Holocaust.’ We should start calling it the ‘Jollycaust.’
–Strand Bookstore
Blonde tourist: The date was okay… I mean, the only problem I have is with his politics. And then there was that whole, um, like… racial thing. You know, all that Aryan stuff.
–Crowded M96 crosstown bus
Overheard by: Socky
Should We Set Them Up?
Construction worker #1: My boss, he’s got a mustache like Hitler.
Construction worker #2: Mine’s a Jew.
–Astoria
Wednesday One-liners for Chosen People
Girl: And it’s so weird to ask Jews if they are German. I just feel weird doing it, because of the Nazis and all.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Dan
Which I Suppose Was the Point of the Tour
Girl #1: … And you went to Amsterdam?
Girl #2: Yeah, it was really cool. We went to the Reichsmuseum, the Van Gogh Museum, the Red Light District…
Girl #1: Did you go to the Anne Frank House?
Girl #2: Yeah, but we sort of did things backwards that day… We went to the Heineken brewery and then to a coffeehouse, so by the time we got to the Anne Frank House we were totally drunk and high.
Girl #1: What?! You went to the Anne Frank House drunk?
Girl #2: No, it’s okay… We went to a concentration camp while we were in Germany and saw all kinds of stuff about the war. By the time we got to Amsterdam, we were like, ‘Enough with the Nazis, already!’
–11th & University
Overheard by: I did the same thing when I was in Amsterdam
And I Love You, Horns and All
Guy: I am really excited about our trip to Germany in the summer. We have to make sure to stop in Frankfurt to meet my family.
Girl: I am kind of nervous about meeting your grandfather since your mom said he was a Nazi and I am Jewish.
Guy: My grandfather is just a mild Nazi. He only believes in the conspiracy theories about Jews.
Girl: Well, I don’t care that your grandfather’s a Nazi. I love you.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Cannelle
Apparently, We Won’t Never Forget
Tourist girl: We’re here! Wow, this is it!
Tourist mother: No, I don’t think it is. This isn’t the Soup Nazi!…You, where’s the Soup Nazi?
–Daily Soup, 54th Street
Girl: I’ve never been to that restaurant, I hear it’s nice.
Guy: Yeah, it’s got its own Nazi charm to it.
–30th & Lexington office
Southern girl: Why didn’t you come, Daddy? That was our stop!
Southern dad: We’ll ride this damn train till they tell us to get off.
–E train
Overheard by: Alyson Leigh
Guy: This weather is like the Holocaust, except much much worse.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: mervis
