Archive for the ‘Hitler/Nazis’ Category

…As I Will Ex­plain on All My Col­lege Ap­pli­ca­tions.

Blonde sev­enth grad­er, about Holo­caust: Yeah, like, I’m Jew­ish on my mom’s side, you’re Asian. So, ba­si­cal­ly every­one in our class would have died from the Nazis.
Asian sev­enth grad­er, to oth­er friend: Ex­cept for Lau­ra.
Lau­ra: What? Why?
Asian sev­enth grad­er: Be­cause you’re white.
Lau­ra: I’m not white! I’m like… Pink­ish or some­thing.

–93rd St & Am­s­ter­dam

The Goy Scouts of Amer­i­ca Could Not Be Reached for Com­ment

New York­er guy: You know that sum­mer camp I went to? My friend is now the head of it and I’m go­ing to help him out next month.
Girl, laugh­ing: Awww, you’re go­ing to teach the kid­dies how to ca­noe and tie slip knots?
New York­er guy: No, I’m gonna teach them about the Holo­caust.
Girl (laughs then paus­es): Wow, that is not what we did at Girl Scout camp in Wis­con­sin.

–6th Ave & 19th St

You Re­al­ly Should­n’t Joke about Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Black girl: But, I mean, oth­er than the hat­ing every­one part, he was the nicest neo-Nazi I’ve ever met.

–Penn Sta­tion

Bik­er dude: I’m a Puer­to Ri­can Nazi! I can’t be racist!

–Out­side Pyra­mid Club, Ave A

Thug en­ter­ing train at rush hour: Man, it’s like the fuck­ing Holo­caust in here.

–1 train

Over­heard by: Stel­la Blue

Work­er: I think the Holo­caust sounds so bad be­cause it’s the ‘Holo­caust.’ We should start call­ing it the ‘Jol­ly­caust.’

–Strand Book­store

Blonde tourist: The date was okay… I mean, the on­ly prob­lem I have is with his pol­i­tics. And then there was that whole, um, like… racial thing. You know, all that Aryan stuff.

–Crowd­ed M96 crosstown bus

Over­heard by: Socky

Which I Sup­pose Was the Point of the Tour

Girl #1: … And you went to Am­s­ter­dam?
Girl #2: Yeah, it was re­al­ly cool. We went to the Re­ichsmu­se­um, the Van Gogh Mu­se­um, the Red Light Dis­trict…
Girl #1: Did you go to the Anne Frank House?
Girl #2: Yeah, but we sort of did things back­wards that day… We went to the Heineken brew­ery and then to a cof­fee­house, so by the time we got to the Anne Frank House we were to­tal­ly drunk and high.
Girl #1: What?! You went to the Anne Frank House drunk?
Girl #2: No, it’s okay… We went to a con­cen­tra­tion camp while we were in Ger­many and saw all kinds of stuff about the war. By the time we got to Am­s­ter­dam, we were like, ‘Enough with the Nazis, al­ready!’

–11th & Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: I did the same thing when I was in Am­s­ter­dam

And I Love You, Horns and All

Guy: I am re­al­ly ex­cit­ed about our trip to Ger­many in the sum­mer. We have to make sure to stop in Frank­furt to meet my fam­i­ly.
Girl: I am kind of ner­vous about meet­ing your grand­fa­ther since your mom said he was a Nazi and I am Jew­ish.
Guy: My grand­fa­ther is just a mild Nazi. He on­ly be­lieves in the con­spir­a­cy the­o­ries about Jews.
Girl: Well, I don’t care that your grand­fa­ther’s a Nazi. I love you.

–1 Train

Over­heard by: Can­nelle

Ap­par­ent­ly, We Won’t Nev­er For­get

Tourist girl: We’re here! Wow, this is it!
Tourist moth­er: No, I don’t think it is. This is­n’t the Soup Nazi!…You, where’s the Soup Nazi?

–Dai­ly Soup, 54th Street

Girl: I’ve nev­er been to that restau­rant, I hear it’s nice.
Guy: Yeah, it’s got its own Nazi charm to it.

–30th & Lex­ing­ton of­fice

South­ern girl: Why did­n’t you come, Dad­dy? That was our stop!
South­ern dad: We’ll ride this damn train till they tell us to get off.

–E train

Over­heard by: Alyson Leigh

Guy: This weath­er is like the Holo­caust, ex­cept much much worse.

–Park Slope

Over­heard by: mervis