Guy: Here you go, brother.
Hobo: Thanks. Hey, are you the guy who asked me for a remix?
–A train
Overheard by: quiubomona
Archive for the ‘Hobos’ Category
Ray Romano, How Quickly You’ve Hit Bottom
Hobo: Can you spare some change?
Chick: No, sorry.
Hobo: I know you hate me…I hate myself, too.
–8th & Broadway
Overheard by: Fleur Massena
Then Pay Me a Dollar Not to Clean It
Hobo: Hey, can I clean the snow off your car for a dollar?
Girl cleaning car: Ummm, no way.
Hobo: Even when it’s cold white people are assholes.
Girl cleaning car, to passerby: I don’t want his smelly ass touching my baby.
–115th St & Frederick Douglass Blvd
Overheard by: Paula
Where Being Hung Up on Semantics Gets You
Bag lady: Don’t you call me no grandma! That ain’t right. I’m a ‘nana,’ not a ‘grandma.‘
Hobo: I ain’t call you no grandma — I called you a old lady.
Bag lady: Oh, okay. Yeah, that’s right, ’cause I ain’t no grandma!
–145th & St. Nicholas Ave
Overheard by: Big Momma’s Biscuit Eater
A Geico Commercial Waiting to Happen
Hobo: I’m sick of this city, I tell you. Please help me get out of here…Hey, did you just give me 2 pennies?
Guy: 3, actually.
Hobo: Ah, motherfucker! What the hell am I going to do with this?
–Times Square
That’s the Last Time I Buy an Invisibility Cloak at Forever 21
Man, almost bumping into hobo: Oh, excuse me.
Hobo: What!? You can see me!?
Man: Yes.
Hobo: Fuck! My invisibility wore off!
–120th & Amsterdam
Well I Am Begging with a Starbucks Cup
Hobo: Can you spare some change? Or food?
Black lady: Nigga, get a job. This neighborhood’s gone too bourgeois for your ass to be begging.
–West 4th
Overheard by: bella
The Unbearable Lightness Of Wednesday One-Liners
Rastafarian man to white basketball female player with dreads: Hey! Why you white people always trying to look like me!
–Union Square
Black guy selling Empire State Building tickets: You’re from Scotland? I love the Scots… They’re puuuuuuurrreee white!
–Outside Empire State Building
Black woman to another, about frat guys nearby: Man, white people are so loud.
–109th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Becks
Black hobo to white teen: Get out of this neighborhood with your white crotch! You don’t belong here!
–Upper West Side
Black woman to cops walking away: But I’m a Caucasian!
–Bed-Stuy
Not Like Here, Where Every Day’s a Fine Day
Shirtless hobo #1: I lived in California before New York… the weather sucks most of the time there.
Shirtless hobo #2: Yeah, dude, I’ve heard that.
–Washington Square Park
McDonald’s? Are You Trying to Kill Me?
Barefoot hobo grabbing tourist by shoulders: Gimme your shoes, nigga!
Blonde tourist #1: Take my McDonald’s! Don’t rape me!
Blonde tourist #2: Rape her! She’s prettier than me!
–15th & 5th, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Julieee
