Archive for the ‘Homeless’ Category

Night Train, Thun­der­bird and Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Crazy hobo with gui­tar to stranger: Damn… you in­vit­ed a lot of peo­ple.

–1 Train

Hobo to young mar­ried cou­ple: I have found the promised land. Se­ri­ous­ly. I’d get a plane tick­et right now, but it’d be cheap­er to go to con­fes­sion for a week and then get hit by a bus. Re­mind me to tell you about this lat­er.

–Times Square

Over­heard by: Oliv­er

Grimy hobo: Hey, do you guys have any change? Hey, do you guys have any change?
(20-some­thing girl walks past him, with busi­ness­man a few steps be­hind) Hey, do you guys want to have sex? Uh, I mean…

–W 3rd & Thomp­son

Hobo, tak­ing do­na­tions to help the home­less, count­ing coins: 25…50…60… (grabs fist­ful of coins sticks in pock­et) Tax re­bate!

–Union Square

Just An­oth­er Five Min­utes, Mom

Woman tap­ping bum who pass­es out lean­ing against new­ly-ar­rived train: Ex­cuse me, sir… Sir! You’re lean­ing against the train and it’s about to leave!
Bum: Oh! Huh? Thank you.
Woman: Ex­cuse me, sir? You’re still on the train… Get off of that train, you fuck­ing bum!
Bum: Yes ma’am!

–Down­town 6 plat­form, Grand Cen­tral

Over­heard by: off white

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Thank God for Their Pig­gy Banks

Lit­tle boy,jumping up and down: The Dow Jones is up! The Dow Jones is up!

–86th & Lex­ing­ton

Over­heard by: Some Ran­dom Girl

Crazy man, shout­ing at no one in par­tic­u­lar: Fuck the econ­o­my, your ass­hole just dropped 200 points!

–8th Ave & 19th St

Slack­er on a smoke break: Yeah, Mc­Cain said he is go­ing to sus­pend his cam­paign so that he can work on the econ­o­my. I mean, re­al­ly. It would be like me say­ing I’m sus­pend­ing my pot dis­tri­b­u­tion so that I can work on quan­tum physics.

–For­est Ave., Stat­en Is­land

Over­heard by: po­lit­i­cal lis­ten­er

Hobo on sub­way to man in suit: Spare change? Any­one? Spare change for the home­less? You look like you worked for Lehman Broth­ers, you’re ex­cused.

–51st St

Over­heard by: Kate