Guy #1, yelling: Fuck yeah! Put that one in the satchel!
Guy #2: That had “skankalicious” written all over it.
–35th & 7th
Overheard by: GJL
Headline by: Porter
Runners-Up:
· “Britney’s Got a New Clothing Line?” – Ray
· “In Accordance With the New Truth in Graffiti Regulations” – bq
· “It’s the New “Gucci”” – JohnnyB
· “Someone Tell Fergie to Stop Making Up Song Titles” – Botticus
· “The New Mariah Carey Doll Created Unexpected Collectors” – EddieA
Tween girl #1: Oh my god, is it wrong that I want him inside me?
Tween girl #2: Uh, yeah, especially since you’re like 13 and a virgin.
Tween girl #1: Oh my god, shut up! I don’t want all these New Yorkers to know I’m a virgin!
–50th & 6th
College girl on cell: So as of last weekend I've pledged to be celibate for a year…although on second thought, it should really start today. I got pretty trashed last night and this morning I couldn't find the underwear I was wearing yesterday.
–Church St
Overheard by: Emma
20-something woman: Did you enjoy the bra fitting? Old lady grab your bits?
–Outside Town Shop
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Elderly woman examining bras: What's with all this padding? I got my own damn titties!
–H&M, 5th Ave
Overheard by: titti-less
Eight-year-old in a suit jacket on cell, strutting around the store: Did you see any hot, sexy girls? Yeah, but were they hot and sexy? Where are you, man? Are you still in the underwear aisle? Yeah, but are you still by the panties? (louder) The panties!
–Barnes & Noble, Tribeca
Overheard by: emdeebee
Trashy girl walking funny: Well, I guess I should have worn underwear.
–Arthur Ave
20-something hipster boyfriend: Are you attracted to Brian?
20-something hipster girlfriend: No.
20-something hipster boyfriend: I don't believe you.
20-something hipster girlfriend: Okay, well, I can't really say anything that would convince you, except… Me being attracted to your friend Brian is just as likely as you being attracted to my friend Suzie.
20-something hipster boyfriend: Fuck! No! Okay, I believe you.
–2 Train
Overheard by: emily darwin
Guy: I’m so horny, I would fuck a mule…but only if it gave me head first.
–7 train
Overheard by: Ron Jackson
Woman: Excuse me. Excuse me!
Big guy: Sorry miss, the train’s crowded.
Woman: No, I don’t care! I do not need you on top of me.
Big Guy: …maybe you do.
–A train
Hipster girl: And he's always like, "oh god, I'm so hard!" and I'm always just like, "really?"
–Kimmel Cafeteria, NYU
Loud passenger: I'm so horny I'd fuck a potato right now.
–Metro-North
Overheard by: fingerling
Guy: I've had a hard-on all day! I need to polish my lid.
–Hard Rock Cafe
Bearded hipster to another, on blanket in the park: Like, I could have sex eight times in a day and still come here and get a boner.
–McCarren Park, Williamsburg
Overheard by: kalbijim
Girl to guy friend: Did you just get a boner while we're talking about Mexicans and drowning?
–Williamsburg
Hobo to one-legged girl walking by: Damn you're sexy, even without that leg!
Bag lady: He wants you to fuck him with your nub.
–Thompkins Square Park
An attractive black girl wearing brown from head to toe walks by.
Stoner kid: Dude, if you squint, doesn’t that girl look naked?
–Fort Greene park
Overheard by: Saddened
Thugged-out camp counselor: Twenty dollars to get in?! This place better have an open bar ‘n’ some shit!
–Bronx Zoo
Overheard by: EthanK
Dude: Yo, this conversation is way too intellectual. Let’s go — I just wanna get drunk and find some hos…
–56th & 8th
Overheard by: JGT
30-ish dude on cell: Yeah, he was so drunk he tried to pay the tab with his health insurance card. Then he got mad when they wouldn’t take it.
–43rd & 9th
Guy on phone: That bar sounds awful. I’ll be right there!
–53rd & 3rd