Archive for the ‘Horny’ Category

…But It Gets Blown a Lot.

Tall, hot hip­ster brunette: I mean, when I see girls flock­ing around him when he’s DJing I just think “oh, they are DJ whores.“
Lit­tle Asian friend: Uh-huh.
Tall, hot hip­ster brunette: But this girl has nev­er seen him DJ or any­thing. I don’t get it. It’s be­yond my lev­el of com­pre­hen­sion.
Lit­tle Asian friend: It’s okay, me too.
Tall, hot hip­ster brunette: It’s like he has a slut whis­tle and we can­not hear that fre­quen­cy.

–Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: muf­fin

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Get a Relt­ney

Hip­ster girl: And he’s al­ways like, “oh god, I’m so hard!” and I’m al­ways just like, “re­al­ly?”

–Kim­mel Cafe­te­ria, NYU

Loud pas­sen­ger: I’m so horny I’d fuck a pota­to right now.

–Metro-North

Over­heard by: fin­ger­ling

Guy: I’ve had a hard-on all day! I need to pol­ish my lid.

–Hard Rock Cafe

Beard­ed hip­ster to an­oth­er, on blan­ket in the park: Like, I could have sex eight times in a day and still come here and get a bon­er.

–Mc­Car­ren Park, Williams­burg

Over­heard by: kalbi­jim

Girl to guy friend: Did you just get a bon­er while we’re talk­ing about Mex­i­cans and drown­ing?

–Williams­burg

See What You’ve Start­ed, Be­y­once?

Guy #1, yelling: Fuck yeah! Put that one in the satchel!
Guy #2: That had “skanka­li­cious” writ­ten all over it.

–35th & 7th

Over­heard by: GJL

Head­line by: Porter

Run­ners-Up:
· “Brit­ney’s Got a New Cloth­ing Line?” — Ray
· “In Ac­cor­dance With the New Truth in Graf­fi­ti Reg­u­la­tions” — bq
· “It’s the New “Guc­ci”” — John­nyB
· “Some­one Tell Fer­gie to Stop Mak­ing Up Song Ti­tles” — Bot­ti­cus
· “The New Mari­ah Carey Doll Cre­at­ed Un­ex­pect­ed Col­lec­tors” — Ed­dieA

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