Archive for the ‘Hot dog stands’ Category

What’s Your Sign, Wednes­day One-Lin­er?

Young man to pret­ty girl with glass­es eat­ing hot dog: That hot dog match­es your beau­ti­ful glass­es!

–Hot Dog Stand, 34th St

Over­heard by: gothchick

Dude to girls cross­ing street: Hey, miss ladies! Youse look nice out!

–Lu­dow & Stan­ton

Over­heard by: M & J

Guy to girl pass­ing by: El sexy‑o! I know how to say it in Span­ish, I wan­na know how to say it in Cau­casian!

–14th St & 1st Ave

Crazy guy: Hey, Snow White! Come talk to Black Beau­ty. Cuz you know vanil­la and choco­late make a good fudge, girl.

–W 110th St

Over­heard by: Ash­ley

Bro stand­ing in side­walk, ha­rass­ing pass­ing girls: Hel­lo! I’ve been wait­ing all my life for you! Hel­lo, where have you been all my life? Hel­lo, I eat pussy. Hel­lo, I’ve got mon­ey. Hel­lo?

–Union Square

Over­heard by: Bruce Lee

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Don’t Al­ways Add Up

Con­duc­tor: We have eleven cars to­day. If we on­ly have five cars to­mor­row, don’t have short term mem­o­ry loss and say, “five cars, this hap­pens all the time.”

–Metro North

Hot dog ven­dor to guys stand­ing be­hind stand: 100 times I’ve fucked, and have 98 kids.

–Out­side Met­ro­pol­i­tan Mu­se­um of Art

Teen hip­ster girl to friend : On a scale of one to ten, how many cars are com­ing?

–33rd St & 8th Ave

Over­heard by: Eri­ka

An­gry man on cell: Don’t talk to me like that! I’ll leave you! I will leave you! You know how many women there are in this world? (pause) A thou­sand!

–45th St & 8th Ave

Over­heard by: Na­tive Ear

Does a Wednes­day One-Lin­er Shit in the Woods?

Puz­zled guy on cell: What kind of girl calls you a “cud­dly wud­dly bear” and does­n’t go out with you?

–The Vil­lage

Over­heard by: Greene

Hobo: Hey there, folks! I’m Yo­gi Bear! Have you seen Ranger Rick?

–Gray’s Pa­paya

Over­heard by: Zach

Woman on cell: I’m glad the evil bear did­n’t kill you in your sleep!

–113th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: La­dle

Drunk girl to sober com­pan­ion: Oh my god, I saw this dog the oth­er day. It was a bear!

–Tick-Tock Din­er

Out­raged girl on cell: She’s an­ti-po­lar bear?

–NYU Cam­pus

Over­heard by: ni­na

What Day Do We Post Wednes­day One-Lin­ers?

Suit to se­cu­ri­ty guard: Which el­e­va­tor goes next door?

–1 Penn Plaza

Over­heard by: No­ra

Hot dog ven­dor: To go?

–Hot Dog Stand, 62nd & 3rd

Over­heard by: Chris­sy

Woman hold­ing Dunkin Donuts mug to em­ploy­ee: Ex­cuse me, can this mug hold cold drinks as well, or just hot ones?

–Dunkin Donuts, 76th & York

Woman: Crepe cafe? What do they do there? (comes clos­er) Ohh­hh, they make crepes?

–Crepe Cafe Cart, W 50th St

Over­heard by: Di­ano­ra

20-some­thing girl to friend: What are we even walk­ing for again?

–Strides Against Breast Can­cer Walk, Cen­tral Park

Laugh­ing, gen­uine­ly amazed Co­lum­bia un­der­class­man: Is­n’t it, like, amaz­ing, how we know what is food and what is­n’t food?

–W 114th Street b/w Broad­way & Am­s­ter­dam

Over­heard by: Su­san Vol­chok

Con­duc­tor: Next stop is…where am I?

–Up­town 1 Train

Any­thing in the Mid­dle of Nowhere Counts As ‘Down South’

Hait­ian work­er #1: Yo, no of­fense, but that’s what I don’t like about black girls.
Hait­ian work­er #2: Yeah…
Hait­ian work­er #1: You got­ta find your­self a good white girl. And not just one from, like, Bal­ti­more, ’cause they mad ghet­to. You got­ta find a good white girl from, like, In­di­anapo­lis, You know, down South.

–Gray’s Pa­paya, Chelsea

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Thought Fe­lic­i­ty Huff­man De­served that Os­car

Skater kid: What’s the point of be­ing gay if you like girls who dress like boys?

–42nd St, be­tween 7th & 8th Ave

La­dy on phone: Yeah, she was work­ing at a fac­to­ry, but she was pass­ing as a man… Well, she did­n’t last a week at the fac­to­ry.

–Bus in Lin­coln Tun­nel

TA: We live in a two-gen­der sys­tem of so­ci­ety. There’s no green ‘It’s a her­maph­ro­dite!’ bal­loon to put out on your front lawn.

–NYU Sil­ver Cen­ter

Over­heard by: Limey

Chick: I mean, I feel frumpy here. For re­al. I’m sick of be­ing like, ‘That guy is skin­nier than me, has on nicer jeans, and has bet­ter make­up.’

–26th St

Over­heard by: agrees with that girl

Col­lege stu­dent on cell: Great, I’ll see you soon. Can I be dressed as a woman?

–114th & Broad­way

Mom to very young son: Some things are for boys, and some things are for girls. It was cute when you were lit­tle, but now it’s time to dif­fer­en­ti­ate.

–Tar­get, At­lantic Ave, Brook­lyn