Archive for the ‘Hugs’ Category

Oth­er Parts Of My Body Would Love a Hug, Though.

Hip­pie girl: Free hugs! We’re giv­ing out free hugs to­day! (to prep­py guy on park bench) Hey! Would you like a free hug to­day?
Guy: No, thank you.
Hip­pie girl: Why not?
Guy: Ac­tu­al­ly, I just had a mi­nor sur­gi­cal pro­ce­dure on my ab­domen. I should­n’t hug any­one un­til it heals.
Hip­pie girl: Well, that sucks. A hug might make you feel bet­ter, though!
Guy: I’m pret­ty sure that a hug would open up the in­ci­sion on my ab­domen from the sur­gi­cal pro­ce­dure. I’m told this would in­crease my odds of in­fec­tion. Thanks any­way, though.

–Union Square

Over­heard by: Double‑M

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers, Not Drugs

Mus­cle man to an­oth­er: You have to hug me more!

–18th & 6th

Over­heard by: Joe Fen­ton

Hobo: I won’t hug you if you give me mon­ey.

–6 train

Over­heard by: Gabrielle

Lit­tle tourist girl, arms out­stretched: Mom­my, I just want to hug New York!

–49th, be­tween 6th & 7th

Over­heard by: Scarfish

Les­bo on cell: I just hugged a man. I don’t even know him!

–Christo­pher St

Over­heard by: Jeri­cho n’ drop

Pan­han­dler: If you don’t have mon­ey and you’re fair­ly at­trac­tive, give me a hug and we’ll call it even.

–F train

Tyler Per­ry Knows All About Stu­pid

Com­e­dy show guy: Com­e­dy! You al­ready spent mon­ey on the plane tick­et to come to this stu­pid place, you might as well have some fun while you’re here. We have black peo­ple and fried shit. Ma’am, do you want to see a com­e­dy show?
Large black woman: No.
Com­e­dy show guy: Why not? Are you “dif­fer­ent”?
Large black woman: No, I live here, so I al­ready know every­thing is stu­pid. In­clud­ing your show.
Com­e­dy show guy:: Give me a hug. That was awe­some.

–46th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Wes

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers? Please Hold.

Guy on cell: I’m gonna come over and give you a big hug be­fore dooms­day.

–Out­side NYU Dorm

Guy hold­ing up drunk friend: I have to hug the fat kid?! Why don’t you try hug­ging a fat kid?

–LIRR, Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: Lau­ra

Hobo to star­tled girl: If you give me a dol­lar I won’t hug you.

–7 Train

Small boy, loud­ly, af­ter some take-off tur­bu­lence: The plane is go­ing down… Every­body hug!

–Run­way Strip, JFK

Over­heard by: PSUny

When Man­agers Be­come Home­less

Bum: Will you watch my ta­ble and make sure no one us­es it. Or if they do, then charge them $5.
Girl: No. Sor­ry, I’m leav­ing.
Bum: Ok then, will you give me a hug? I’ve had a bad day, I need a hug.
Girl: Um… Sor­ry, no.
Bum: Well, I need a hug, and you are sup­posed to do your civic du­ty!

–Union Square