Archive for the ‘Hunter’ Category

Are Wednesday One-Liners Funny Ha-Ha, or Funny-Peculiar?

Guy eating pancakes: Everything’s funny in retrospect, like the time I got that screwdriver stuck in my eye.

–IHOP, Brooklyn

Ancient Greek civilization professor: A sexual act, in some sense, for an observer is funny.

–Hunter College

Crazy lady: All the prostitutes need to be rounded up and stuck in churches! (teen girl laughs) You think that’s funny? It’s not gonna be funny when you are in a hospital addicted to crack!

–Water St & Broad St

Girl to her friend: Wouldn’t it be funny if human beings could only walk forward and backwards?

–8th St & 2nd Ave

Lady sitting with girlfriends: It’s funny because I’m pregnant, and he doesn’t know.

–Starbucks

Drunken Jets fan to friends in Jets jerseys: That’s not funny. You want to see something funny? (grabs wooden signpost, slams forehead into it) That’s funny!

–W 4th & Barrow

Overheard by: jira monkey

Hunter Has More of a Red Connotation

Crazy lady: Excuse me! Girls, can you adopt a dog or a cat? You know that many animals need homes.
Chick #1: Oh, we’d love to, but we can’t have pets.
Chick #2: Yeah, our dorms don’t allow animals
Crazy lady: Oh, you’re in college?
Chick #1: Yeah.
Crazy lady: At the law school?
Chick #3: No, Hunter.
Crazy lady: I thought that Hunter was for the Blacks.

–23rd & Lexington

Overheard by: Kaitlyn

Wednesday One-Liners Go for the Jugular

Slutty girl: Yeah, we were both drunk and he hit the wrong hole. I’ve been shitting blood for two days.

–Citi Field Stadium

Gay guy: I mean… She made my dick bleed.

–St. Mark’s

Overheard by: jax

Chick laughing hysterically on cell: I know! So much blood came out of his ears!

–Hunter College

Overheard by: Fresh Man

Black man on phone: This car was ripped in half, they had to cut this dude out with the jaws of life, he come out bleeding from his eye sockets and shit. (pause) So you wanna meet up later?

–Willoughby & Vanderbilt

Regular Wednesday One-Liners

Woman: …Then they gave him enemas until it ran clear. Now he hasn’t had a movement in three days. Should I be worried?

–Subway

Suit: Yeah, I just left a floater in the upstairs bathroom.

–44th & 3rd

Ambiguously gay actor: Flowers come out. Girls do not poop, ever. Ever!

–Tisch School of the Arts, NYU

Overheard by: a girl who poops

Freshman chick: I am so not in the mood to take a shit right now.

–Restroom, Hunter College

Cherubic blonde chick to another: You know that ‘BM’ means poop, right?

–Metropolitan Museum of Art

Suit-in-training: Oh, yeah, I do have to take a shit — I forgot.

–NYU Stern Building

Guy waiting for stall: Let’s go gang, push it out! We gotta go out here!

–Manhattan Mall

Overheard by: KeeZ

Paris Hilton: “That’s Wednesday One-Liner.”

Hipster waitress to another: Camel toe is like, really hot, but also really uncomfortable.

–Williamsburg

College guy to friend: Dude, I’d definitely date a dude who looked like a hot chick… It’s not gay.

–Hunter College

Overheard by: Stephen

Professor: Welcome to CUNY, it’s like menopause. It’s either too hot or too cold.

–City University of New York

Latino girl on cell: Bitch, please. I’m gonna look mad hot tonight. I’ma comb my hair!

–American Apparel

Male professor: I don’t care how hot Brad Pitt is… If he sits on my lap, nothing’s going to happen!

–New York Institute of Technology

Overheard by: Not Brad Pitt