Archive for the ‘Hunter’ Category

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Are Mold­ing Young Minds

Eng­lish teacher: Class, I’d like you to re­mem­ber where the line is. It is al­ways mov­ing, and it is de­ter­mined by me.

–Bronx Sci­ence

Over­heard by: HJWC

Eng­lish teacher: I rose up in­to the air and flew out the win­dow… You did­n’t no­tice this?

–Hunter Col­lege High

Over­heard by: stu­pid eng­lish stu­dent

Old teacher: Okay, there are three rules in this class­room, and I am com­plete­ly se­ri­ous. Num­ber one, no swear­ing. Num­ber two, no scuf­fles. Num­ber three, no sex un­til 3:20 when you can do what you want.

–Grace Church School

Teacher: I’m a huge fan of bath­room stall graf­fi­ti! My fa­vorite from this school is in the third floor bath­room: ‘If you can read this, you are poop­ing.’

–Bard High School Ear­ly Col­lege

Teacher to an­oth­er: You are a he­m­or­rhoid in my ass.

–Brook­lyn Tech

Over­heard by: Julie

Health teacher: Drug abuse is a symp­tom of sui­cide.

–Hunter Col­lege High

Eng­lish teacher: The next scene is about sex, so pay at­ten­tion. You might learn some­thing.

–Brook­lyn Tech

Over­heard by: Julie

A Valiant Knight on a Mapquest

Guy: Do you go to FDU?
Girl: No, I got to Hunter. It’s in Man­hat­tan; have you heard of it?
Guy: No, but where is it?
Girl: Do you know the city?
Guy: Of course!
Girl: 68th and Lex­ing­ton.
Guy: That’s near the Vil­lage, right?
Girl: No, it’s on the Up­per East Side.
Guy: Oh. Well, I usu­al­ly hang out in the Vil­lage. Down by Av­enue A and Av­enue B.
Girl: Um.

–A train

Over­heard by: Brown Eyed Girl

Wednes­day Off-the-Rack-Lin­ers

20-some­thing man on cell: I just bought an­oth­er Trans­form­ers t‑shirt. That means I am one Trans­form­ers t‑shirt away from be­ing able to on­ly wear Trans­form­ers t‑shirts.

–9th Ave & 45th St

Over­heard by: Ser­e­na

Male art teacher: What’s wrong with chif­fon? If I were home right now, I would be wear­ing chif­fon.

–Hunter Col­lege High School

Bar own­er to col­lege kid wear­ing suit: Look atchu all dressed up. What, are you goin’ on a game show or some­thin?

–Citi Bar

Over­heard by: Lu­lu

20-some­thing girl on cell: You should’ve known when you liked his clothes that he was go­ing to be over­ly emo­tion­al. No one who dress­es that good can hold it all to­geth­er.

–Lock­er Room, Crunch Gym

Guy to group of friends: Yeah, so I said to him, “Mike, it’s a prob­lem when you wearin’ the same clothes as your daugh­ter.’ ”

–5th Ave & 14th St

Over­heard by: Sue

Wordsworth’s Like a Pile of Puke Com­pared to Luther Van­dross

Stu­dent: For my song po­em, I chose ‘Al­ways and For­ev­er,’ re­made by Luther Van­dross.
Pro­fes­sor, singing: Al­ways and for­ev­er, each mo­ment with you is just like a dream to me that some­how came true…
Stu­dent: Ahem. I have to read the po­em. [Af­ter stu­dent is done read­ing, pro­fes­sor leads class in singing the whole song.]

–Hunter Col­lege

Over­heard by: Brownsvil­le­girl

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Click “It’s Com­pli­cat­ed”

Chick: It’s about your cy­ber per­son­al­i­ty, and if your cy­ber per­son­al­i­ty does­n’t want to be in a re­la­tion­ship with me on Face­book, that’s okay!

–NYU Hay­den Stair­case

Co­ed: I don’t know… if Sh­eryl* with the two kids by the two dif­fer­ent ba­by-dad­dies can have a good My­Space, I think pret­ty much any­one should be able to do it.

–Hunter Col­lege

Over­heard by: Im­mac­u­latePiz­za

Hip­ster girl: It looks like My­Space ex­plod­ed in there!

–The Knit­ting Fac­to­ry, 74 Leonard St

Over­heard by: Cassie

20-some­thing girl: So, the quad­ri­pleg­ic I hooked up with added me as a friend on Face­book last night.

–Chipo­tle, 51st & 8th

Geek prophet: No one is ever away from Google, re­al­ly.

–Near Hol­land Tun­nel

Over­heard by: Claire H.

An­gry chick, to boyfriend: Look, I’m not chang­ing my Face­book sta­tus!

–6th & Ave A

Over­heard by: Kremil­yse

30-ish woman: I said I would­n’t date him ’til he gets rid of the ty­pos on his My­Space pro­file… Am I a snob?

–Tom’s Din­er, Morn­ing­side Heights

Over­heard by: ball-and-vein­ing tool

Shh! We Haven’t An­nexed Them Yet

Busi­ness­guy: …and then she said, “Let’s meet up in Barcelona next week­end.” Like that’s close!
Busi­ness­woman: You have bonus miles though, don’t you? Plus, you need a va­ca­tion any­way, so why not?
Busi­ness­man: I’d rather have her come vis­it me on Amer­i­can soil, like we could go to Mon­tre­al for the Grand Prix maybe…

–70th & Lex