Guy: Yeah, I was in jail and got my Associate’s.
Girl: Yeah? Was it free?
Guy: 20 dollars or something.
Girl: Damn! I’m gonna be paying school loans forever! I should go to jail!
–Wai Cafe, 17th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: 167girl
Archive for the ‘Idiots’ Category
And a Fuel Injection System
Hipster boy to girl: After the internet age and the digital age, we are now entering the cyborg age.
Hipster girl to boy: Yeah, cyborgs are totally mainstream now. I saw a special on Fox News all about cyborgs and it was totally mainstream.
Hipster boy to girl: My brother has an insulin pump.
–F Train Platform
Overheard by: sadie
Si El Avion Se Choca Contra Un Tempano
Man #1: See, there’s the exit, and it says Salida. What the hell’s that?
Man #2: I think it’s Spanish for salad.
Man #1: Why the fuck write that on there?
–JetBlue plane, JFK
Overheard by: beth devlin
Whatever, They’re Both Played at Goth Bar Mitzvahs
Woman: I changed my ringtone to “In-a-Gadda-Da-Vida.“
Man: Really?
Woman: Yeah. [sings song]Man: That’s “Hava Nagila.”
–The Thing, Greenpoint, Brooklyn
Overheard by: sweetchuck
And the Sphinx Was Their Internet Cafe?
Man: …and then we visited the Sphinx and the Great Pyramid.
Woman: The Great Pyramid is where the people had their apartments, right?
–The Village
Overheard by: Ava
“Barnard, barnyard. In any case, it was full of pigs.”
Woman: Maybe I didn’t find Barnard that easily, but I sure found the zoo all right.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Todd Seavey
So There’s no Way to Be Sure
Hipster #1: What’s up with her? Is she a Lesbian?
Hipster #2: Well, she is Canadian.
–The Mountain Goats Show, Europa, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Becca
One Guess, Brainiac 5
Guy #1: Sam better on his way to this meeting too.
Guy #2: Let me call the office and check if he’s left yet…Sam, what’s up, man? Where are you?
–E train
Wednesday One-liner Brought a Half Keg
Girl: I should just drink a lot, like, a lot a lot a lot, and see what happens.
–12th & 3rd
All the Caffeine in the World Won’t Help Him There
Guy: I will have a coffee.
Waitress: We don’t have anything hot.
Guy: Then an iced coffee, please?
–New York Comedy Club, East 24th Street
Overheard by: Eric Kuhn
