Woman: I’ve never seen so many cars out there.
Cashier: The Jewish people are praying.
Woman: Really?
Cashier: Yeah, I think tomorrow is the start of Ramadan.
–Wendy’s, Bensonhurst
Archive for the ‘Idiots’ Category
Unspoiled by Western Ways?
Tourist #1: We should visit Chinatown.
Tourist #2: Why?
Tourist #1: We can see real Chinese people in their natural habitat.
–Subway station, West 4th St
That’s the Least Successful Children’s Book Ever
Guy #1: The Great Cock Hunt? Isn’t that a Hunter S. Thompson novel?
Guy #2: No, you idiot. It’s a gay porn site. What kind of mo are you?
–Starbucks, 23rd & 8th
But the Passport's for Boring Old Latvia.
Guy waiting on passport line: I'd like an expedited passport.
Postal worker: Oooh! Going anywhere fun?
Guy: Florida.
–Post Office, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: BLSwhatwhat
The Annunciation of Wednesday One-liners
Woman: I always thought the Purple Pieman was Satan. Isn’t that one of his many names?
–K-mart, West 34th Street
Overheard by: CC
“Oh man! I already got the genie pants!”
Teen boy #1: Yo man, I’m gonna join a gang!
Teen boy #2: Ah, ya? What gang?
Teen boy #1: Aladdin Kings.
Teen boy #3: What the fuck kinda Disney gang is that? Latin Kings, man! Latin Kings!
–A train
And Clay Aiken-Gay, Not Oscar Wilde-Gay
Foreigner: What was with those guys in Brokeback Mountain? Are all cowboys dumb?
Girl: They weren’t dumb, they were gay.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Sara McGrath
Or Hook Up With Her
Dumb girl #1: If my ex wasn't an idiot I would call him.
Dumb girl #2: Why is he an idiot?
Dumb girl #1: Because he hooked up with one of my friends.
Dumb girl #2: That sucks.
Dumb girl #1: Yeah, she likes to get with friends' men.
Dumb girl #2: Wow! She's a bitch.
Dumb girl #1: Yeah… but so, should I call him?
–L Train
Living with Korsakov’s
Girl #1: That’s pretty much illegal or something.
Girl #2: They’re not really related, and she told her dad and he’s cool with it.
Girl #1: Oooh, do you wanna get some ice cream?
–M96 bus
And This Over Here Is a Box-Cutter, Which Is Used on Muslim Christmas
Midwestern child: Daddy, what’s that candle thing?
Midwestern father: It’s called a menorah. They use it on Jewish Christmas.
—Spamalot, Shubert Theatre, W 44th St