Dude: … And they put, like, these cranberry raisins in it.
Chick: I don’t like raisins.
Dude: No, but like, they don’t taste like raisins — they’re totally cranberries.
Chick: I really hate raisins, though.
–Cosi, 13th & Broadway
Overheard by: Dani
Lady: ‘Scuse me, sir. Can you tell me how to get to Baltimore?
Man: That’s in Maryland
Lady: Damn.
–Times Square
Dude: He’s the black, blind Motown equivalent of Kenny G.
–113th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Girl, while leaving screening of “I am legend”: Okay… I cannot believe the woman did not know Bob Marley! I mean, that had to be the most unrealistic thing in that entire film.
–Fresh Meadows, Queens
Overheard by: hmmm…
Curly-haired chick: Has New Order become an okay kinky sex background band? Am I *old*?
–113th & Broadway
Overheard by: Poogins
Guy, standing next to guy listening to Journey on his iPod: Get away from me! Just get the fuck away from me!
–2 Train
Dumb girl dressed like Scary Spice en route to the concert: Yeah, a lot of people think that the Spice Girls like, reinstated feminism.
–NJ Transit
Yale grad: Eminem has a wonderful sense of meter.
–Court St., Brooklyn
Overheard by: Justin Casement
Queer: We only stayed for 15 minutes, I’m not that into karaoke. And when a coven of lesbians start casting their spells to “My Sharona”, I was outta there.”
–Chambers & Greenwich
Overheard by: Grand Witch Muffy
Annoyed gate lady: Sorry, sir, the plane is being delayed one hour and could be delayed longer.
Frequent flyer: What if I get upgraded to first class?
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: Mike
20-ish guy #1: I don’t understand why there are still pay phones in the city. Who doesn’t have a cell phone?
20-ish guy #2: I don’t understand why women are allowed to talk.
–20th & Park
Overheard by: Also Wondering About Both
Guy #1: Dude, let’s go see Fiddler on the Roof. I heard it’s sick.
Guy #2: Oh, that’s the sequel to The Wizard of Oz, right? With the witch of the East… Right?
Guy #1: Let’s go get high.
Guy #2: Okay.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Darius Izad
Dumb chick #1: What are those Jewish people with the curls called?
Dumb chick #2: I think they’re called “aesthetic Jews.” Or “hestetic Jews.“
Dumb chick #1: Oh. I though they were Amish.
–Elevator, Midtown Building
Overheard by: I know what they’re called
Doorman: Where is the building you’re looking for?
Lady: It’s on 40th.
Doorman: 40th and what?
Lady: I’m almost positive they said between Sixth and Avenue of the Americas.
–40th between 5th & 6th
Overheard by: conor hogan
Woman #1: She had been dating him for, like, two years and then she saw him on a reality dating show last night. Now she’s going break up with him.
Woman #2: Well, maybe the show was filmed before they were dating. You know, sometimes those things take a while to get on the air.
Woman #1: They were going out for 2 years! Don’t you think he should have at least mentioned to her, “By the way, I was on a dating show”?
–Duane Reade, 52nd between Madison & Park
Overheard by: Captain Obvious
Girl: I’m thinking of an animal that starts with a P.
Guy: Porcupine?
Girl: No. Wait, are those big smears of blood all over that subway map?
Guy: I think they’re paint.
Girl: They’re totally blood.
Guy: [looks harder] Yeah, you’re totally right… Penguin?
Girl: Nope!
–1 train
Overheard by: djlindee
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
