Overheard In New York

Archive for the ‘Incest’ Category

You Can’t Judge a Wednes­day by Its One-Lin­er

Col­lege stu­dent: This is the best Barnes & No­ble I’ve ever seen!

–Bor­ders, Time Warn­er Cen­ter

Stu­dent: So, the au­thor of the Tao Te Ching, Lao-low… Fuck it, we’re call­ing him L‑train.

–Eu­gene Lang Col­lege

Over­heard by: Hark­er

Large woman with friends: Oh, girl, I got to tell you about this book I’m read­ing. It’s off the hook! They’re send­ing in this un­der­cov­er agent, and I think it’s his sis­ter, but he’s all get­ting ready to have sex with her!

–White Cas­tle, 36th & 8th

Over­heard by: Dun­can Pflaster

Woman on phone: I was in Union Square, so I stopped in Barnes & No­ble. (pause) Nig­ga, I can read!

–Union Square

Lit­tle British boy: Oh my good­ness, dad, look! They have books on dat­ing. How to Date? is prob­a­bly like, “Don’t take her to Mc­Don­ald’s!”

–Barnes & No­ble

Over­heard by: Lau­ra

Tat­tooed art­sy guy, putting hand on art­sy Asian girl’s shoul­der: I read your book and re­al­ly liked it… lot­ta piss­ing, huh?

–Mott & Prince

Does a Three­some With Twins Break the Wednes­day One-Lin­er Taboo?

Suit to an­oth­er: He was just lucky not to be fuck­ing some­one in his fam­i­ly!

–Trump Build­ing

Over­heard by: Guess I’m lucky too

Gamer on head­set: Dude, you are not lis­ten­ing to me. You can’t hear me. You know why? Be­cause you have no ears. You’re the prod­uct of two re­tard­ed cousins fuck­ing each oth­er.

–Queens

Girl: He looks like my un­cle… the one I’m re­al­ly at­tract­ed to.

–Gov­er­nors Is­land fer­ry

Over­heard by: bor­ing

Male passer­by: I would­n’t fuck my fam­i­ly, but…

–4th Ave & 11th St

Over­heard by: Jes­si­ca

British pro­fes­sor wear­ing bow tie: It’s fas­ci­nat­ing just how ex­cit­ing in­cest is!

–Sil­ver Cen­ter, NYU

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Fade to Black

Slight­ly drunk kid from Alas­ka: I re­al­ized I had blacked out when I woke up on top of my sis­ter.

–14th St

Over­heard by: The Rev­erend

Young girl on cell: You passed out from him chok­ing you? (pause) Like…does it…um…sting? Did he apol­o­gize at least? (pause) Ya know, it’s not okay to get so fucked up that you don’t know that he’s chok­ing you.

–Max Cafe

Over­heard by: D to the ana

Loud girl on cell: Oh my god! Don’t even wor­ry about hit­ting on her too much, she was to­tal­ly blacked out last night!

–Whole Foods Union Square

Over­heard by: bildita

Prep­py girl: Is “faint” a eu­phemism for “bon­er”?

–La­Guardia Air­port

Over­heard by: Di­ana