Archive for the ‘India Indians’ Category

Could You Re­mind Me How to Breathe?

Hip In­di­an chick #1: We should to­tal­ly go to Ra­j’s par­ty to­mor­row night.
Hip In­di­an chick #2: Oh my god, we to­tal­ly should! Ex­cept it’s in Brook­lyn. Like, how would we even get there? Are there like, bridges or some­thing?
Hip In­di­an chick #1: You’re kid­ding, right?
Hip In­di­an chick #2, laugh­ing: Wow! I am so one of those peo­ple who are like to­tal ge­nius­es but al­ways for­get like, re­al­ly ba­sic stuff.
Hip In­di­an chick #1: Umm, yeah. To­tal­ly.

–M14D Bus

Over­heard by: Cody

They Can’t Even Dri­ve You Any­where!

Cry­ing scream­ing In­di­an girl: I am so sick of this! I do so much for you, you mean every­thing to me and I am so sick of this! I was there for you! Noth­ing mat­tered to you!
Asian ex-boyfriend: Um­mm…
In­di­an girl: And I am so tired of you choos­ing them over me. Al­ways choos­ing the Asian girls over me! It nev­er mat­ters, be­cause you al­ways choose the Asians!

–NYU Sil­ver Cen­ter

In Days of Old, Just a Glimpse of Them Was Looked on As Some­thing Shock­ing

Amer­i­can-born In­di­an guy with cream col­ored bell bot­toms tucked in a pais­ley shirt: There’s some­thing about fob‑y girls from Asia that is so sexy–they wear stock­ings.
Fil­ipino Amer­i­can girls #1 and #2: Uhh, what?
Amer­i­can-born In­di­an guy: Yeah! There are stud­ies that have been done on it, like by Duke Uni­ver­si­ty. It’s like 20 pages long. Look it up.

–Prince & Eliz­a­beth

Over­heard by: based on what you’re wear­ing, ON­LY girls wear­ing stock­ings would find YOU sexy

Food Was Scarce in In­di­ana

Girl #1: Okay, what should I get? The Gombee burg­er sounds good. Hey, that kin­da sounds like Gandhi…except he prob­a­bly would­n’t want to eat the burg­er. Re­mem­ber that time he was on that hunger strike?
Girl #2: Aren’t cows like, sa­cred to Hin­dus or some­thing?
Girl #1: Oh! That’s prob­a­bly why he would­n’t have want­ed to eat it.

–Co­lum­bia Uni­ver­si­ty

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Think “Abroad” Sounds Dirty

20-some­thing col­lege stu­dent: I saw the movie Aus­tralia the oth­er day, and I could­n’t un­der­stand any­thing be­cause they all had Eng­lish ac­cents.

–2 Train

In­di­an woman with ac­cent, re­call­ing sto­ry to hus­band: So I called up cus­tomer ser­vice, and right away the woman said “Oh, pri­ti, you must be In­di­an”. I said “No, I am not.” I was like “What? Are you kid­ding me? I call cus­tomer ser­vice and they put me through to In­dia? Then she said “Have you ever been to In­dia?”, I was like “No, I have not, is it nice?”

–Jack­son Heights

Over­heard by: Marie Z.

10-year-old girl, emot­ing mock­ing­ly for her min­der: And I can see *Rus­sia* from my *house*!

–74th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Har­ri­et Vane

Woman on cell: It’s okay, I’ve got a plan. We’ll move to Mex­i­co, buy a lemon­ade stand by buy­ing parts from a guy called Javier, earn some mon­ey, then smug­gle our­selves and our be­long­ings over the bor­der to Amer­i­ca, where no one will know what hap­pened.

–5th Ave

30-some­thing to friend: Ap­par­ent­ly all of Eng­land’s prob­lems can’t be solved by stran­gling an old guy!

–Roo­sevelt Is­land