Indian girl, speaking on her cell-phone: Jewish people don’t speak English, and they’re great businessmen. Chinese people don’t speak English, and they’re great businessmen. So you don’t have to speak English either to be a great businessman!
— Penn Station
Urban Indian middle school kid: Yo, we gonna be feastin', son! We got all different types of curry!
Urban African American middle school kid: Shit, son.
–Outside of McKibbin Lofts, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Mikey Andy
Indian snack counter vendor: What's that on your head, man?
Security guard with ash cross on head, in thick New York accent: It's ash Wednesday.
Indian snack counter vendor, snickering: Okay.
Security guard: Hey, I don't laugh at you guys when you put dots on your heads. You gotta respect other people's beliefs.
–9th St & Broadway
Overheard by: The Chocolate Muffin Sucked
Indian man: You’re the stupidest lady in the world…You see her? She’s the stupidest lady in the world. You are #1!
–7 train
Overheard by: isabelle
Indian guy: You better not buy me anything!
Slightly older Indian guy: Okay, I won't buy you anything. C'mon.
Indian guy: Where are we going?
Slightly older Indian: We're going to the dark alley.
Indian guy: The place I really like?
Slightly older Indian : No, the place I really like.
–138th St & Amsterdam Ave
White guy: Are you enjoying your apostasy burger?
Indian guy: Yeah.
White guy: So, what — sins only count if you commit them in India?
Indian guy: That’s why I love America.
–Burger King, Union Tpke
College girl: Yeah, the worst part about Africa was that we, like, didn't go out!
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Noemi
Shabby-looking blue collar mom to distinguished older Indian woman: Ohhh! I have always wanted to go to Bollywood! I love East Africa and Asia! I wanted to buy a bonsai tree, but they are way too expensive.
–5 Train
20-something, looking at Washington arch: There was something like this in France.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: M
Guy on cell: I swear I didn't have sex with her when I was in Norway.
–Lower East Side
Black guy: Good god. I had to actually work today.
Indian chick: By “work” you obviously mean taking credit for the many hours of hard labor endured by my fellow Indian IT brethren who report to you. You exploiting bastard.
Black guy: Ha, ha. Like slavery. But I’m Black.
Indian chick: Oh, the wicked irony.
Black guy: Word.
–Wall Street
Overheard by: drama
Asian schoolgirl to friend: So he says "you're a racist," and I'm like, "I can't be a racist, I'm a race!"
–Ridgewood, Queens
Overheard by: Squidocto
Fair-skinned Italian Long Island woman: So they both took a paper bag test, and passed.
–Barnes & Noble Cafe
Overheard by: a.j.w.
Yuppie Indian woman: In *my* culture, I'm not black.
–Flatbush Ave
Overheard by: mojbe
Ridiculously loud girl employee: Bobby! What's your ethnicity?
–NYU
Overheard by: …not the only shocked observer
Eight-year old black kid to 20-something babysitter, about younger brother: He likes black girls, but I like white girls!
–Outside Delancey Station
Thug to friend: That bitch looked up at me and said, "Damn, your dick tastes like coffee."
–86th St & Lexington
Overheard by: TINA
Female suit to other: Duane Reade is like the Starbucks of drugstores!
–Duane Reade
Old lady with shopping cart, exiting voting booth: Where's my Starbucks coupon?
–PS163, Bath Beach, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Torgo61
Guy on cell: Hey, bro! I'm having coffee and a bagel. (pause) No, an animal did not have to die for me to have this coffee!
–Arthur Avenue
Overheard by: eternal student
Man with heavy Indian accent holding a cup of Starbucks coffee: No, the most expensive coffee in the world is coffee beans eaten and then pooped out by a cat. It's $120 a cup.
–Elevator, 7th Ave & 31st St