Archive for the ‘Infidelity’ Category

More Like Fist­ing Them, Re­al­ly

Lati­na: You like to dance?
Prep­py guy: Yeah.
Lati­na: The girls here are re­al­ly easy. I can in­tro­duce you to some that will let you touch their pussies.
Prep­py guy: Um­mm. I’m en­gaged.
Lati­na: That’s okay. My hus­band’s over there danc­ing with them right now.

–El­dridge St

Over­heard by: David

No­body Calls ’em “Play­erettes”

Black man #1: Man, that re­minds me of my bach­e­lor par­ty! The oth­er day this slut friend of mine was get­ting mar­ried — ex­cuse my lan­guage.
Black man #2: That’s aight, man. Some­times you got­ta call a slut a slut.
Black man #1: So, she was get­ting mar­ried, right? And the guy is wait­ing for her in a ho­tel room with cham­pagne and shit. And the bitch is at my house!
Black man #2: Yo, that’s a slut aight.

–28th & 8th

Poli-Sci 101: Clin­ton­ian Eti­quette

Co­lum­bia girl #1: So wait, he cheat­ed on his mis­tress??
Co­lum­bia girl #2: Nooooo, he cheat­ed on his wife with his mis­tress.
Co­lum­bia girl #1: Oh, I was con­fused.

–116th & Am­s­ter­dam
Head­line by: nj2nc

Run­ners-Up:
· “And by ‘Con­fused’ I Mean Im­pressed” — colleen
· “Ap­par­ent­ly, So Was the Ad­mis­sions Staff” — goes to a bet­ter NY school
· “He Did Cheat on Both with a Hook­er in Ve­gas, But That Stayed There.” — Deb­o­rah
· “It’s OK, Ex­tra-Mar­i­tal Af­fairs Is a 300-Lev­el Course.” — Tyson Ju­r­gens
· “It’s a Mo­bius Strip of Poon.” — prefekt
· “Just as Long as There Weren’t No Damn Queers Get­ting Hitched. That Would Ru­in the Holy Union That Is Mar­riage.” — Col­in Mc­Cleod
· “Most Like­ly to Trans­fer to a SUNY” — las­couine
· “Pro­fes­sor Giu­liani Should Re­move His Bio from the Syl­labus” — Dave El­lis
· “Should­n’t be. It’s How You Got in­to Co­lum­bia.” — ab­by
· “So How Did the Mon­key Fit in­to All of This Again?” — Fleet­line
· “You Bet­ter Start Learn­ing the Dif­fer­ence If You’re Go­ing to Get That MRS De­gree” — Slick­Ricks
· “You Can’t Cheat on the Peo­ple You Are Cheat­ing on Your Wife With…It’s in the Bible.” — Sean
· “You’d Think the Con­cept of Cheat­ing Would Be More Fa­mil­iar at Co­lum­bia” — bri b

Click here to see the new Head­line Con­test

Ever Get the Sense That Every Day Is Like an Episode Of Springer?

Tall, gor­geous girl to much short­er, ugli­er boyfriend: Why do you need to know were I was last night? I thought you said our re­la­tion­ship was all about trust!
Boyfriend: I’m your boyfriend! I have a right to know where you were and who you were with!
(as they stop walk­ing and ar­gue loud­ly, a small crowd be­gins to gath­er)
Tall girl: Do you thing I was cheat­ing? Why would you think that? You’re the one that said you’re the on­ly one that will ever love me!
(crowd boos boyfriend)
Boyfriend: I am the on­ly man that will ever love you!
Ran­dom guy in crowd: I love you!
Boyfriend: You love me?
Ran­dom guy: No you douchebag, your girl­friend!

–Broad­way & Wall St.