Girl: Oh my god.
Guy: Can’t you just say OMG?
–The Whitney
Archive for the ‘Intelligentsia’ Category
They’re Busy Being Cold and Hungry, Douche
Girl: How can homeless people even afford to ride the subway?
Guy: I wonder if they think of their MetroCard as a business investment.
–N train
Overheard by: Daniel Motta
It’s Like Playing Memory!
Doctor lady: Did you hear that Dr. Khan just had a baby?
Doctor guy: Oh, was she pregnant?
–Burger King, Jamaica
Overheard by: Ed Selter
Woman: She didn’t even know she was pregnant until she was giving birth…
–Columbia University Medical Center
Shopping Can Be A Grueling Ordeal
Lady: Where is the restroom?
Einstein: There’s one on 4 near the bathrooms, and one up on 6 near the bathrooms.
–Filene’s Basement, Union Square
Overheard by: Erika Karnell
Wouldn’t They Ask “What Are You?” (A: Pompous)
Guy: So people ask me, “What am I?”, and I say, “Firstly, I’m a person and an American.” It’s such a contextual paradox. I just can’t explain it.
Girl: Huh?
Guy: I just said I can’t explain it, it’s a contextual paradox.
–N train
Watching Just Shoot Me Until You’re Sterile
Woman #1: He had to take his cat to the vet.
Woman #2: She has to get spaded?
–Office, W. 53rd Street
As Deep and Shitty As…a Really Deep and Very Shitty Thing
Guy #1: That’s far. That shit is deep.
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: 14th.
Guy #2: You think that’s deep? Shit.
–St Mark’s, between 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: Jon Door
Same Applies for Judging Boyfriends
Woman: That one painting was gorgeous.
Man: Did you notice that no matter where you were in the room, his eyes were looking at you? That’s how you can tell it’s a great painting.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Jeff Scherer
Just Across The Street From Stuyvesant…
Prof: A noun is a person, place or thing. Can someone give me a noun? William?
William: How ’bout…motherfucker?
Prof: That could be a noun, but also a verb or even an adjective…
–BMCC
Overheard by: Professor
Most Children Are
Intellectual: I can’t believe some adults enjoy reading those Harry Potter books; they’re just awful.
Book vendor: Maybe some of them are still children.
Intellectual: I think some of them are psychopaths.
–W. 4th & Greene
Overheard by: Brian Lang
