Archive for the ‘iPod’ Category

Cana­dia: *Sniff*

Mom: You wan­na play with my iPod? I put your fa­vorite Bieber songs on there.
Three-year-old: He not my fa­vorite any­more.
Mom: He’s not? How come?
Three-year-old: Mom­my, he’s just a white boy from Cana­da.

–Up­town 1 Train

Over­heard by: not a be­lieber

Oh Wait a Minute, I Think She’s Hav­ing a Seizure

Girl: See that la­dy over there? She’s like…orgasming to her iPod.
Guy: (laughs)
Girl: No, se­ri­ous­ly. She’s so fun­ny to watch. Who the fuck or­gasms to a song?
Guy: I’d or­gasm to a good song.
Girl: Yeah? What’s a good song?
Guy: That one by Nine Inch Nails. Some­thing like “I Wan­na Fuck You Like an An­i­mal.”
(lit­tle boy ob­serv­ing an­i­mals stares, puz­zled)

–Cen­tral Park Zoo

I Gave Him My Best Park­er Posey Lip Curl and Left the Train

Snooty al­ter­na­tive chick: So, for some rea­son I al­ways get these creepy guys talk­ing to me on the train. This one guy on the ride over here looked over at my iPod and I was lis­ten­ing to The Fall, right? And he’s like, ‘That’s an in­ter­est­ing song. It’s like punk, right?’ And so then he pulls out his iPod and starts try­ing to im­press me with his shit­ty mu­sic list.
Al­ter­na­tive guy: What was on it?
Snooty al­ter­na­tive chick: Blink 182 and Good Char­lotte and stuff… And it’s like, ‘Um, you’re a guy on the N train who start­ed talk­ing to me, you’re not gonna get in my pants… And you’re es­pe­cial­ly not gonna get in my pants if you don’t know who The Fall are! That’s to­tal­ly a pre­req­ui­site.’

–Kim’s Video, St. Mark’s Pl

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Want You to Know About the Size of Their Bank Ac­counts

Yup­pie on cell (try­ing to be dis­creet): Hey mom. Are you busy? Could you Google Maps me? I’m on Hous­ton and West Broad­way. Yeah, I did­n’t want to ask any­one for di­rec­tions and make a fool of my­self. Al­though I’m pret­ty sure I just did, be­cause half of this cof­fee shop is look­ing at me now.

–W Hous­ton

Over­heard by: Let’s face it, we were all new at one point.

40-some­thing yup­pie woman: And then I re­al­ized that my biggest prob­lem in life is that most of the time I’m in­cred­i­bly hap­py, but I’m not aware of how hap­py I am.

–81st & Madi­son

Yup­pie dad to sev­en-year-old daugh­ter: Now when you start buy­ing iPods, that’s when you’re go­ing to want to have a Visa card.

–Stan­ton & Christie

Over­heard by: Ross

Three-year-old yup­pie spawn: Noooooooooooo! I don’t want Pad Thai! I want sushi!

–Dice Thai, Prospect Park

Over­heard by: I’ll take sushi too but you’re payin’, kid