Archive for the ‘Iraq’ Category

Wednes­day One-Lin­er: What Is It Good For?

Clean­er: What a pair of tits on that girl! That’s why we go to war, that’s why we’re in Iraq!

–Ser­vice El­e­va­tor, Lex­ing­ton & 41st St

Over­heard by: Nicky

An­noy­ing chick, about John Mc­Cain: I mean, he was a POW be­cause he fucked up!

–Shea Sta­di­um

Over­heard by: megan

Se­cu­ri­ty guard, break­ing up fight dur­ing peace march: You can’t fight at the peace march! You can’t fight at the peace march!

–143 & Mal­colm X

Woman to scream­ing three-year-old: And that’s why you have to reg­is­ter to vote! Or else they’ll draft you and you’ll have to go to war!

–33rd & 2nd

Girl on phone: I can just get a pass from the Is­raeli army. Don’t wor­ry about it. They’re easy.

–NYU Pal­la­di­um Din­ing Hall

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers for Hezbol­lah

Of­fi­cer to old la­dy: Hey, don’t leave you bag on the floor, there are ter­ror­ist every­where.

–45th St & 3rd Ave

Over­heard by: StriderNo9

Suit on cell: So you’re gonna vote for a Mus­lim and a ter­ror­ist?

–Mo­MA

Hip­ster to friend: Yeah, ter­ror­ists to­tal­ly love Bush.

–46th and 9th

Over­heard by: choos­ing not to cap­i­tal­ize the B

Tourist: Are you guys ter­ror­ists?

–Ral­ly for Gaza, 42nd & 7th

Over­heard by: ooga booga

Loud black queer teen: But his best joke was like “What do you call peo­ple who hate ketchup?” (no re­sponse) “Al-Qae­da!” (bursts out laugh­ing) Get it? It’s fun­ny be­cause they don’t have ketchup in Iraq!

–1 Train

Over­heard by: Ketchup lover

NY’s Home­less Speak on the Is­sues

A hobo stum­bles in­to the store, yelling things and mak­ing every­one un­com­fort­able. Sud­den­ly, he stum­bles up­on the rack with copies of the New York Times, an im­age of Iraq on the front page. He stares in si­lence for a mo­ment, and says: You think it’s bad be­ing home­less? Imag­ine be­ing in Fal­lu­jah!

–Star­bucks, 59 St. & 9th Ave.

Over­heard by: An­drea

Two ho­bos are drink­ing malt liquor from pa­per bags. Hobo #1 shakes his head in dis­may: …I tell you, I tell you–that’s why they’ll [sic] nev­er be peace in the Mid­dle East.

–29th St. & 2nd Ave.

Over­heard by: Tri­cia Karsay

I Bet It Was an HMO

Guy #1: So when I start­ed telling him my feel­ings on the Iraq war, he rolled over to me in his wheel­chair and start­ed curs­ing me out. He was go­ing on about his time in Viet­nam and how there are things about war I’ll nev­er un­der­stand.
Guy #2: That sucks.
Guy #1: I was like, “Whoa. You’re my shrink! I’m pay­ing you to lis­ten to me!”
Guy #2: Se­ri­ous­ly.
Guy #1: Well, at least the co-pay was on­ly $15. But any­way, I’m def­i­nite­ly not go­ing back to him.

–Von, Bleeck­er & Eliz­a­beth

Over­heard by: Blondie