Archive for the ‘Japanese’ Category

Some NYC His­to­ry, Over­heard Style

Slack­er #1: You know that ships used to come up the riv­er and dock in the West Vil­lage?
Slack­er #2: Re­al­ly, man?
Slack­er #1: Yeah, re­al­ly. They used to let the sailors out there…yeah, that’s where the term “Hey Sailor” came from.

–Prince Street laun­dro­mat

Japan­ese girl: If this is New York, where are Old York?
Japan­ese Dad: I think that is in Eng­land.

–59th & 6th

Over­heard by: Svein Brun­stad

‘Cause If You Do Like Tor­ture, My Cul­ture Is All Over That

D.O.M.: I re­al­ly like your cul­ture.
Cute Japan­ese bar­tender: You… like tor­ture?
D.O.M.: What? No, no… Cul­ture — cul­ture.…
Bar­tender: [Silence.]D.O.M.: Cul­ture. Man, how do I say this…?
Bar­tender: [Silence.]D.O.M.: … I like what you guys do.
Bar­tender, leery: Thanks…

–Japan­ese restau­rant

Over­heard by: aule­van

Com­ic Books May Have Giv­en You Some Un­re­al­is­tic Ex­pec­ta­tions

Japan­ese student/tourist seem­ing­ly wait­ing for lug­gage: How long are you in New York for?
Woman wait­ing for lug­gage: Just for one night. I’m here for a con­fer­ence and then I’m fly­ing back to­mor­row.
Japan­ese student/tourist: This is my fall break. I will be here through Tues­day.
Woman: That’s nice. I hope you go out and have a nice time.
Japan­ese student/tourist: Yes. (pause) Sex.

–JFK Air­port

Dead or Alive’s Sub­lim­i­nal Mes­sages Fi­nal­ly Kick In

Amer­i­can guy #1: Re­mem­ber when you were here last year, and Mike was spin­ning you around, and dropped you on your head?
Japan­ese girl: What?
Amer­i­can guy #2: Last year! In New York! You were here! I took your legs and went like this! I dropped you on your head!
Japan­ese girl: Yes! Yes! Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Amer­i­can guy #1: Dude, she loves it! Most girls, if you dropped them on their heads, would be like, “Fuck you, I’m nev­er talk­ing to you again.”

–C train

How Many Weight Watch­ers Points Are in a Wednes­day One-Lin­er?

Av­er­age-sized woman on cell: He said “big boned.” Yeah, “you’re a big boned girl… Like your dad, kin­da big boned.” (pause) Yeah, so, I did­n’t re­al­ly feel like eat­ing much af­ter that.

–Queens

Over­heard by: bdlil­rbt

Girl to friend: I al­ways think I’m a thin per­son, but then I look in­to the mir­ror and re­al­ize I’m not.

–3rd & 13th

Su­per skin­ny Japan­ese girl: I brought my juice with me. Then I or­dered dessert. But my juice just looked bet­ter than eat­ing dessert.

–Down­town 1 Train

Over­heard by: dignell

Mid­dle aged women to friend: Yeah, we took her in for a few weeks. She was fine, but did­n’t eat much. But that’s be­cause she kind of has an eat­ing dis­or­der. (they burst out in­to a fit of laugh­ter)

–F Train

Girl get­ting so­da to friend: You know, it’s the ice that makes you fat. I heard that some­where.

–Cafe­te­ria, Mary­mount Man­hat­tan

Over­heard by: Han­nah

Al­though If You Had, I’m Sure the French Would’ve Giv­en Them to You

Po­lite Japan­ese tourist: Ex­cuse me, please. Can you give di­rec­tion to Em­pire State Build­ing?
An­gry old man: Hell, no. It’s not like you peo­ple need­ed god­dam di­rec­tions to get to Pearl Har­bor.

–Broad­way

Over­heard by: He’s sor­ta right