Guy: I really wanna kiss you right now.
Girl: So who does that make you: my uncle or my dad?
–Bar, Carroll Gardens
Archive for the ‘K-I-S-S-I-N-G’ Category
Tongue Costs Extra
Hobo: Anyone have a $50 bill?…How ’bout you?
Chick: What?
Hobo: Are there any rich people on this train?
Chick: No.
Hobo: You like me? Wanna give me a kiss?
–6 train
Overheard by: S.D. & S.H.
No Seriously, Lady, That Hurts.
Teen girl to sailor in uniform: Can you do me a huge favor and let me kiss you?
Sailor: Man, you’re really twisting my arm huh?
–Top of Empire State Building
And He’s on Antibiotics
Drunk girl #1: Call me tomorrow morning and tell me how you feel!
Drunk girl #2: I’ll be just fine cuz I just made out with Travis.
–19th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: k
To Be Fair, the Nun’s Habit Tends to Throw a Person Off
Chick #1: Did you make out with a hooker?
Dude: I didn’t *make out* with anyone!
Chick #2: Did you seventh-grade kiss a hooker?
Chick #1: Did you seventh-grade *think* about kissing a hooker?
Dude: I didn’t even know she was a hooker until twenty minutes into our conversation!
–F Train
I’m More of an ‘Assfuck ’em and Leave ’em Crying in a Puddle of their Own Urine’ Kind of Girl
Teenage girl #1: Then he was kissing my forehead a lot after we hooked up so I told everyone there he was gay.
Teenage girl #2: Yeah, that is really gay.
–Houston St station
Um, Why Do You Think Mirrors Were Invented?
Girlfriend: So, you want to make out?
Boyfriend: Both of us?
Girlfriend: Uh… yeah, generally that’s how it works.
–A Train
…Hint, Hint.
Hispanic man #1, on bus: Yo, my hand smells like pussy.
Hispanic man #2: Yeah, now she gonna go home and kiss the other guy, and then he gonna, and you were just there.
(hysterical drunken laughter)
Hispanic man #3: I haven’t gotten pussy in a while, though. Since last summer.
Hispanic man #1: Yeah, you know I just love getting my dick sucked.
–Q58 Bus
Marriage Requires a Different Kind of Acting
Little girl, holding Phantom Of The Opera playbill: Mommy, were those two people married?
Mother: What two people?
Little girl: Those two people who kissed.
Mother: No. Those were actors. They were just acting in a play.
Little girl: But then outside, I saw them hug.
Mother: I think they were just saying, “Good job.” That’s how they say, “Good job.“
Little girl: Well, I saw them kiss so they better have been married!
–LIRR train
Overheard by: sara swank
Jeez, Look at Him Vomit Into That Potted Palm
Disgruntled woman #1: It’s not that he kissed my cousin…
Disgruntled woman #2: Right.
Disgruntled woman #1: And it’s not that he can’t feel emotions…
Disgruntled woman #2: Most guys can’t!
Disgruntled woman #1: It’s that he drinks Bacardi-151!
Disgruntled woman #2: I’m sayin’!
–The Courtyard Marriot, Times Square
