Archive for the ‘Kids’ Category

The Pitter-Patter of Tiny Wednesday One-Liners

Young boy: Fuck school! When I’m old enough, I’m just going to stay home and make babies.

–1 Train

College professor: Everything that is wrong in this world can be traced back to babies.

–40th & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Just Trying to Smoke in Peace

Girl on phone: I’m going to have to cancel for a few different reasons. First, the baby hasn’t gotten all her shots. And more importantly, there’s something pecking through my wall! I’m really freaked out!

–Bleecker and Lafayette

Woman with three kids, after watching the eldest push the middle to the ground: What are you pushing him down for? Are you trying to upset my stomach so I lose this baby inside me?

–St Marks Place, Staten Island

Girl on cell: Well if she likes to have babies so much, why don’t she just be a … doctor!

–52nd & 7th

Professor: 42-year-old babies don’t have bones.

–Schenectady County Community College

Wednesday One-liners: The Next Generation

Thug: I need a girl who’s responsible and don’t got no kids.

–40th & 5th

Dude: Are we talking about the truth now? The truth is that you’re scared that she’s going to take your son away from you!

–27th Street office

Black guy on cell: Yeah, it was actually all right. We were both circumcised.

–Union Square greenmarket

Overheard by: Lisa Ramaci