Soccer mom: In two weeks, my knitting circle’s going to the strip club. –28th & Lex Girl: I want to become a stripper so that I can see Patti LuPone in Gypsy every night. –St. James Theatre Overheard by: Erin Loud NYU chick: Listen to the opening guitar riff of Voodoo child. It makes you want to be a stripper! –Bobst Library Overheard by: evil em Six-year-old boy to parents: Oohh! Zombie strippers! Let’s see that! –Port Authority
Girl #1: You want to hear something crazy? My sister, you know she’s pregnant with her second kid, right? The baby’s due date is the same exact day as her first kid’s birthday.
Girl #2: That’s so crazy. Maybe they only kick it once a year. –6 train
Kid #1, bouncing basketball on the sidewalk: Jesus was like: “Go back to earth and suffer… Or your ass is going to hell.”
Kid #2: Yeah… –Bushwick Ave & Meserole St, East Williamsburg
10-year-old white boy: Mom, you know what I'm wondering?
Mom: No, what?
10-year-old: What does “shish kanish” mean?
Mom, staring at him: What the hell are you talking about?
10-year-old: In that song by Shakira it says she makes a man wanna “shish kanish.”
Mom, shaking head: “Speak Spanish,” Cory. She made a man wanna speak Spanish. Shit, you ain't never gonna be a singer. –Tenement Museum Overheard by: Excuse me while I kiss this guy
Girl #1: I will kill all of your firstborns!
Girl #2: All of them? –Megabus, Penn Station Overheard by: Lisa
Confused little boy looking at dozens of Santas in Santacon: I thought there is only one Santa Claus.
Mother: Those are Santa’s helpers. Santa can’t do everything by himself.
Little boy: But why are they dressed like Santa?
Mother, exasperated: I don’t know. –3 train, Times Square Overheard by: Eric Kuo
Little kid: Hey, mom! Check it out! (chokes himself with own hands)
Mom: Oh, don't do that, honey, you'll damage your brain! –State St, Brooklyn Overheard by: Ben
Little boy: But how do I know you’re not part of the Martian menace?
Dad, deadpan: You don’t. –110th & Amsterdam Overheard by: Alexandra
Eight-year-old to dad: Give me another acting exercise!
Dad: Try acting not weird. –46th St b/w 8th & 9th Overheard by: Serena
Seven-year-old boy (spelling everything he says): D-a-d-c-a-n-I-h-a-v-e-a-d-o-g?
Seven-year-old boy: Shut yo’ mouth! –Uptown 6 Train