Archive for the ‘Kink’ Category

Getting Wednesdayed Is Easy; Staying One-Linered Is Hard

Man to woman: Well, I’ve already been in two successful marriages…

–Hudson River Park

Talkative husband to blase wife: We’ve been married for over a year, who would not like us?

–F Train

Overheard by: Elise

Girl: So, when you say “married,” is that like “married-and-just-not-divorced-yet,” or like “married-married-and-actually-living-together”?

–6 Train

Woman on cell: Well, it’s a good thing you didn’t marry Susan’s brother, because he ended up losing a testicle.

–DUMBO, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Megan

Woman on cell: Sorry, but if I wanted to be heavily sedated and drunk all day, I’d marry you.

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Josh

Guy with eye patch: If a girl eats out your ass on the first date, you marry her!

–77th & 34th

A Sociopolitical Justification for Post-Modern Man’s Thirst for Pee?

American grad student: Should I be in a fetish video?
French grad student: What would be the point?
American grad student: What do you mean? It’s a fetish video.
French grad student: But what would be the point? What’s the thesis?

–Fayerweather Hall, Columbia University

Overheard by: The Evil Triangle

May/December Wednesday One-liners

Girl: Man, this old dyke is digging on me, but I want some penis
these days.

–3rd between B & C

Guy: Man, old pussy is the best! She has 50 years of dick sucking experience.

–124th & Manhattan 

Overheard by: Jason Steinhauer

Queer on cell: Ever since I lost my hair I’ve had 20 year olds chasing me around like I’m an ice cream cone. 

–LIRR

Overheard by: Squatporpoise 

Girl: Oh yeah, that guy you saw me with Sunday? He lets me watch him have sex with boys.

–NYU School of social work

Overheard by: Maggie 

Some Potty Humor, Courtesy of Wednesday One-Liners

Lady suit: Do you think anyone would notice if I just popped a squat and urinated everywhere?

–Port Authority

12-year-old girl: And then… He, like… peed in my mouth. It was kinda gross.

–Eddie’s Sweet Shop

Overheard by: Yorick

Man peeing on the street: Watch the stream, watch the stream!

–W 4th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Maya G.

Black guy to coworker: What about that golden shower I had the other night?

–NYU Weinstein Dining Hall

Middle-aged convention female attendee: I didn’t know that urinals flushed. Did you know urinals flushed? Who would have thought?

–Javits Convention Center

Overheard by: Hector

Drunk man to embarrassed friend: Did I tell you about the time I peed on a bum? For real, I did! I was just taking a leak and looked down like: “Oh shit, is that a person?” He looked up on me and said: “Hey, you just peed on me!” And I did! I peed on him! Then I put myself in his shoes like: “What if someone peed on me?” I’d be pissed! That’s some fucked up shit, man. So I gave him ten bucks.

–A Train

Actually, More of a Case File Than a Story

Woman: I’m sorry, I have to admit, I’ve been reading over your shoulder. I kept seeing the word ‘creepy,’ and I was intrigued.
Girl: Oh, yeah, it’s feedback from a writing workshop I’m in.
Woman: For a story you wrote?
Girl: Yeah.
Woman: It sounds so interesting based on what people wrote about it. I’d love to read it some day! What’s it about?
Girl: It’s a necrophilia love story…

–1 train