Archive for the ‘Language Barrier’ Category

Next Time Im­pede the In­ves­ti­ga­tion in Finnish

[Pa­trol car flash­ing lights at curb. Small group of high-school­ers cor­ralled against wall]Police of­fi­cer: So what hap­pened –what did you see?
Sharp teen: No hablo in­glés.
Of­fi­cer, in per­fect Span­ish: En­tonces, que pasó? Qué viste?
Smart teen: No hablo es­pañol!

–85th & Am­s­ter­dam

Over­heard by: Christo­pher Stone

She Un­der­stands Ac­ces­sories

Man in pa­per hat, leather jack­et cov­ered in so­da can tabs, and poofy skirt over jeans: She comes in and she comes home and breaks my heart, and the worst part is that I don’t un­der­stand her lan­guage. I’m bet­ter off with… [Steps back to peer at mag­a­zine a girl is read­ing] I’m bet­ter off with that one. What’s her name? Turn the page back one. Yeah, her. Tyra? Tyra. I’m bet­ter off with Tyra.

–Union Square

Over­heard by: Brownsvil­le­girl

Yet An­oth­er Draw­back of Ab­sti­nence-On­ly Ed­u­ca­tion

White guy to girl: You know both these guys are Mus­lim, so don’t piss them off. Mus­lims don’t care if they die be­cause then they’ll get 72 vir­gins.
Mus­lim #1: It’s not 72 vir­gins, it’s 45 vir­gins.
Mus­lim #2: I thought it was 40 vir­gins.
White guy: But a Mus­lim per­son told me that it was 72 vir­gins.
Mus­lim #1: What are you gonna do with 72 vir­gins, man?
White guy: The same thing you’re gonna do with 45 vir­gins, but I would get tired of telling them what to do.

–MetroTech, Lawrence St

Over­heard by: Jan­nine Ram­lochan