Overheard In New York

Archive for the ‘Latinos’ Category

Thank God the Wednes­day One-Lin­ers’ Strike Is Over

Chick on cell: We can’t let Blair and Tootie con­trol our lives!

–LIRR

Over­heard by: Poo­gins

Home­less crazy black guy to three scared white girls in their twen­ties: Time is crazy. Oh man, what time is “Des­per­ate House­wives” on?!

–10th Street & 3rd Ave

Large lati­no: Yo, it was so good last night, I mean I can’t be­lieve you missed it. It was the best episode I’ve seen yet, se­ri­ous­ly bro… Well the main thing that hap­pened was Hei­di tried to apol­o­gize to LC and she was all like: “I wan­na for­get you!” I was like: “Whaaaaaat? For re­al?” It was crazy, you got­ta catch it!

–Times Square Of­fice Build­ing

Over­heard by: SU­SAN

Red­head: The “Brady Bunch” world is a world with­out urges.

–Ve­niero’s, 11th St be­tween 1st & 2nd

Over­heard by: Ur­su­la & Winifred

Mus­cu­lar guy: He comes up to me talk­ing all this shit, say­ing that he’ll bring it. Bring what? He’s not gangs­ta like I am, he ain’t thug like me. Skin­ny moth­er­fuc­ka looks like a damn burnt-out Screech.

–On the Bus

Ful­some girl with bad dye job: I’m like: “I watch ‘Law and Or­der: SVU’, I’m not get­ting in your van.”

–15th be­tween 6th and 7th

Over­heard by: Dis­union­square

Aries Spears, in line for an Ash­lee Simp­son au­to­graph: I’m the black guy from MADtv! [Grabs a ran­dom girl’s cam­era and snaps a pic­ture of them to­geth­er and walks away.]

–Vir­gin Mo­bile Mega Store, Times Square

…Hint, Hint.

His­pan­ic man #1, on bus: Yo, my hand smells like pussy.
His­pan­ic man #2: Yeah, now she gonna go home and kiss the oth­er guy, and then he gonna, and you were just there.
(hys­ter­i­cal drunk­en laugh­ter)
His­pan­ic man #3: I haven’t got­ten pussy in a while, though. Since last sum­mer.
His­pan­ic man #1: Yeah, you know I just love get­ting my dick sucked.

–Q58 Bus

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Feel a Lot Bet­ter Now

Guy to friends: A girl fart­ed on my head once, and I dat­ed her for three years.

–14th St & 3rd Ave

Over­heard by: MC

Woman to friend: And then he fart­ed in my mouth.

–Ding Dong Lounge

Over­heard by: Ros­alind

Hobo, fart­ing loud­ly, turn­ing at girl walk­ing be­hind him: That’s for you, you fuck­ing bitch!

–Yel­low Line Sub­way Sta­tion

Over­heard by: Craigalanche

Lati­na on cell, firm­ly: I’m not bi-cu­ri­ous, I’m just fart-cu­ri­ous

–49th & 5th

Over­heard by: ol­ga

Crazy hobo: Once, I was eat­ing Crack­er Jacks, you know, the one with the prize in it? When I fin­ished the box, I fart­ed in it, then sealed it up again. When I opened it a week lat­er, I got the sur­prise of my life!

–1 Train

Over­heard by: nel­la

More Like Fist­ing Them, Re­al­ly

Lati­na: You like to dance?
Prep­py guy: Yeah.
Lati­na: The girls here are re­al­ly easy. I can in­tro­duce you to some that will let you touch their pussies.
Prep­py guy: Um­mm. I’m en­gaged.
Lati­na: That’s okay. My hus­band’s over there danc­ing with them right now.

–El­dridge St

Over­heard by: David

Lit­tle Did He Know Her Cred­it Came With Ze­ro In­ter­est

His­pan­ic guy, not­ing hot chick passer­by: Hey, ba­by.
Hot chick: (rolls eyes)
His­pan­ic guy: (takes off shirt and puts it on the ground for her to walk over)
Hot chick, stop­ping: I’ll give you some cred­it for that one…but fuck off. (con­tin­ues walk­ing)

–50th & 9th

Over­heard by: passer­by

Head­line by: ddv

Run­ners-Up:
· “A Drama­ti­za­tion Of Citibank’s Cred­it Pro­to­col” — No­Cre­d­it
· “But…I Would Have Tak­en You to 4th Meal!” — Mad­dy
· “How Many Cred­its Do I Need to Save Up For a Blowjob?” — mark
· “It Was a Bad Day To For­get That He Was Wear­ing a Sports Bra” — Nick Pol­lot­ta
· “Matthew Mc­Conaugh­ey Fi­nal­ly Gets Some Cred.…” — Rain­danceRichard
· “Next Time He Won’t Give a Shirt” — Sim Etrias
· “Raleigh Gets the Old “Fuck Ye” From Eliz­a­beth Yet Again” — Lau­reen

Click here to see the new Head­line Con­test

Dog: Um, I’ll Just Stay Here, Thanks

His­pan­ic dude, about large Pit­bull: Yo, this nig­ga is the one! I’­ma take this nig­ga home with me!
Girl­friend, about ad­ja­cent dog: I like this one!
His­pan­ic dude: Bitch, fuck you! I’­ma take the dog and leave you here! Put you in the dog cage, take this nig­ga home!

–An­i­mal Care and Con­trol, Adopt­able Dog Ward

Over­heard by: Vicks­burg

She Was Quite Mod­est about It, Too

Teeny­bop­per #1: Ugh… I hate those over­ly-proud His­pan­ics!
Teeny­bop­per #2: They dri­ve me in­sane! They’re like, ‘Oh my god, Pa­pi, 100 per­cent Boricua! Hol­la at me!‘
Teeny­bop­per #1: Why can’t they speak good Eng­lish?
His­pan­ic woman: I be­lieve you mean to say, ‘Why can’t they speak Eng­lish well?‘
Teen boy: Owned!

–L train

Over­heard by: Laugh­ing to my­self