Archive for the ‘Licking’ Category

We’re All a Few Pay­checks Away from Be­ing Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Girl to friend: He’s In­di­an! How can he be home­less?

–Union Square

Crazy Asian la­dy: I think every­one should ex­pe­ri­ence jail and be­ing home­less at least twice in life, so I need to go to jail again.

–Pinkber­ry, 32nd St

Suit, scream­ing: Why the fuck did I go to school? Look at these home­less peo­ple. They have a per­fect life. Free sam­ples at every cor­ner. Ap­ple Store is open 24/7, which means good shel­ter. Gahh!

–Union Square

Over­heard by: hes­peak­struth

Flam­boy­ant­ly el­e­gant gay guy to fe­male friend: Would you rather lick this en­tire sub­way plat­form or have a home­less woman eat your pussy?

–Times Square

Over­heard by: Katie

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Look Good Enough to Eat

Boy: Ew! Hon­ey and ass!?

–48th & 8th

Over­heard by: ur­banad­ven­tur­er

Guy to friend: I felt like her eyes were go­ing to eat my face.

–Bleeck­er & Charles

Over­heard by: Ja­cob

40-some­thing man to 20-some­thing girl: I just wan­na nib­ble your birth­mark.

–5th Ave & 9th St

Guy against pil­lar: I’ll suck your ass… If you want it.

–J Train

Some Wednes­day One-Lin­ers to Make You Lose Your Ap­petite

Guy on cell: It’s not like I take my ear wax, put it on my pe­nis, and use it as lube.

–Queens

Over­heard by: Jess

Friends on stoop: Bro, did you see that ass? I would lick the fart out that ass!

–19th & 6th

Mid­dle-aged yup­pie, about club in Las Ve­gas: And I said “here’s our check, and if an­oth­er pu­bic hair falls in our drink, you’re in trou­ble!”

–Times Square

Over­heard by: Scott

Boy in car to mom: Hey mom, what about anal leak­age?

–Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Bren­na

Guy to friend: She said she was stressed out study­ing for fi­nals, I did­n’t re­al­ize that meant she had­n’t been show­er­ing. As soon as I got there we start­ed “hit­ting it”. It was too late when I re­al­ized how dirty she was. Dude, I lit­er­al­ly licked a lay­er of crust off her.

–3rd St b/w Ave A & B

Over­heard by: saf­fro­sun

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Have Lips and a Beard, but No Nose

Woman to friend: I just don’t un­der­stand these women. I mean, get your head out of your bush and look around!

–66th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: rawr

Girl: Oh, I was won­der­ing why my vagi­na was vi­brat­ing!

–Sal­va­tion Army, 11th & 4th

Man on side­walk, wav­ing arms: I can’t, can’t, can’t, can’t, can’t get enough pussy!

–125th St & Park Ave

Over­heard by: won­ders why

Woman on cell: I get my pussy eat­en out so much I don’t even want it any­more.

–Stat­en Is­land Fer­ry

Girl on cell: Oh, come on, I can see her vagi­na from here!

–Court St & Dean St, Cob­ble Hill

Over­heard by: Astig­mat­ic